Page 10 of First Time Rush
4
May
Wow. I keep saying that word over and over.
But wow.
Wow.
Wow.
This place is not what I expected. At all.
But I can't even concentrate on the place. Or the job.
This guy. Man.
He's aman. I've been around men before. But this guy… he's aman.
He's a tower looming over me, with dark, close-cropped hair and eyes the color of blue raspberry lollipops. Except they have power. When he looks at me, there's a twinge in my belly. Something that tells me things I didn't know about myself. Things I think he knows about me already. But how could that be?
Something inside me is saying love might be something more, something bigger, than I ever thought.
Wow. I'm thinking aboutlove?
I don't know what it feels like to be in love. I'm engaged, sure. I just figured love was something that grew between two people after they'd been together a long time. Like Mom and Dad.
Mom told me once that when her family announced she was getting married, she hadn't even met my father. It was all arranged. That’s just how it's been done in my family for generations. She also said it took a while, but they grew to love each other. And I know that's true, because we saw it, me and Leah. We were lucky enough to feel it in the short time we had with them.
Deep down, I'd hoped that would happen between me and Victor, too. That I'd grow some kind of pleasant feelings for him. At leastsomething.
Over time.
The only feeling I've managed so far is a morbid curiosity. And a little bit of petulance, too, since whenever we're in the room together, he just stares at his phone and grunts when Simon asks him something. He isn't bad-looking. He's lean, usually dressed in a dark silk suit or a pair of those men's jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets. Those are odd. They look like some whacko bedazzler went nuts on his behind.
But something is happening here with thisDeckerperson.
Man.
He's a complete stranger, but when he kissed me, it felt so dang good. I should have been scared, but I wasn't. It felt right, and I want him to do it more. But that woman knocked on the door and ruined it. And now I'm just wondering how I can get it back. How I can convince him to do it again.
I know that's wrong. I need this job. And what if he just kisses all the girls that work here, like it's some kind of package deal?
That thought makes my heart crush and shatter. Why would I be jealous of a man I don't even know?
Something's going on with my panties, too. I've never had this reaction to anyone before. I've never been touched like that, or even kissed, and I hope like heck there isn't something wrong with me. Anything I know about sex I've learned from Leah, and that's not much because she doesn't know much either.
She said Mom had one talk with her, but then there was the accident, and since then it's been guesswork. And a few books that had naughty bits in them. She said when Mom talked to her, it was mostly about "that time" of the month and the practicalities of how babies are made.
I'll admit, I've slipped my fingers into myself a few times. There's this wanting, but I could never satisfy it. Leah said there are orgasms. Something that I guess feels really, really good, but I'm not sure I've had one because when I've played with myself, it felt nice, but it wasn't mind-blowing or anything. Maybe my expectations are off, since both Leah and I have no experience.
But right now, when he kissed me, something definitely felt mind-blowing… and the dampness that's growing between my legs, soaking my panties and making them stick to me, has to be because of Decker and that kiss.
And the other thing. He's older than me. A lot. And I like it.
A lot.
"I… I needed—" The blonde girl is stuttering. She keeps glancing over at me, curious. "A signature."
