Page 21 of Forever Fighting
I believe her.
I will be just fine.
I only wish they had a miracle move-on pill that could excise him from my head and heart to make that process faster.
7
ROMAN
She unlocks the door and, for a moment, simply stands in the entryway, looking around and listening. It’s quiet. I don’t think Adam is home, and when she realizes that, she blows out a relieved breath.
“It’s so weird how the mind and heart work. I really didn’t want to see him. I asked him to respect that, and he did. But I think part of me wanted him to fight a little for it.” She turns and squints up at me. “You know what I mean?”
“You wanted him here and also didn’t want him here.”
“Yes. Does that make me crazy or just complicated?”
“You’re not complicated, kid. Someone just has to know how to read between the lines in order to get the full story.”
“Would you have been here if you were him?”
I shut the door behind me. “I don’t know how to answer that without hurting you more.”
She nods as she slowly turns back around. “You wouldn’t have cheated.”
“No. I wouldn’t have cheated. But in fairness to him, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that he was a wreck on the phoneyesterday morning. He knows he fucked up and is desperate to get you back.”
“I’m not getting back together with him. I thought a lot about it today and yesterday and realized that if I did, it would eat at my soul. My self-esteem would tarnish and he’d own a piece of me I don’t want him to take. My self-respect. But there’s the part of me that wanted him to fight for me. That wanted him to be here begging me for forgiveness. And not because I’m being cruel or wanted to laugh in his face. But because I wanted him to prove to me that not everything was a lie. That there was something there that might be worth forgiving. I wanted him to change my mind about not taking him back. I wanted proof that he did love me above all else and that he had to ignore my request to stay away because he couldn’t handle not seeing me.” She scrunches her nose. “I’m not making sense.”
“You are. You want to be someone’s universe. The only one they see. The one they can’t live without.”
“Is that asking too much?”
“It’s what everyone should have, right? What our parents have.”
“You think that’s why he cheated? Because he came from a broken household?”
“No. I think that’s bullshit.”
She considers this as she thinks about that. “Our parents are relationship goals. Especially your dad, because he’s super obsessed with your mom.”
I check my phone when a notification comes in, and I see several apartments I have to sort through in Frankfurt and Paris. Damn. “That’s because he went four years without her and had to grovel to win her back,” I mumble absently.
“You’re not helping me with the groveling thing, but he never cheated, right?”
“Never. She was just too young at the time, and they were indifferent places in life until they weren’t.” Except my parents got together and with her it feels like it’ll never happen.
“I love their story.”
I put my phone back in my pocket. “Your parents were best friends. It’s a good one too.”
“It is. Enough about love. It’s depressing me.” She picks up a small marble ball from the entry table before she puts it back as if she changed her mind about it. “Let’s get this over with. I don’t want to be here anymore. All I see is her on top of him and his face as he came inside her.” She makes a gagging noise. “Let’s move me out.”
We start with the bedroom because it has most of her stuff. The suitcases come out of the closet and one by one, they get filled. She changes her clothes out of the basic stuff we got her yesterday and continues packing. Neither of us is talking much, and occasionally, I catch Braelyn sniffling, but not a lot.
“How about some music?” I offer.
“Oh, yes. Harry Styles, please.”
