Page 102 of Forever Fighting
The dream I had about Nash back in Mexico won’t leave me. I still can’t remember the details of it, but I can’t seem to shake the feeling. It’s both hope and dread, but I know Nash is the hope part.
It’s funny, every guy I’ve loved has been my best friend. Maybe that’s what made them so perfect for me at the time. But Nash was the piece that connected it all and I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t loved him the way I did. And I wouldn’t have Roman—best friend or lover—without Nash as well.
I can’t think about what-ifs. I can’t dwell on questions I’ll never have answers to.
Life moves. It adjusts and adapts. It changes in the blink of an eye. I came to realize yesterday when all of that madness was happening with the media and Adam that I don’t want to focus on the journey. I want to focus on the path ahead.
That’s why I made that statement.
I also think the press will grow bored of us now.
Regardless, I feel vindicated, no matter what the world thinks about my relationship with Roman. I told him I loved him, and I meant it. I don’t think there was any other option for me with him. I was always going to fall for him, which is likely why I never allowed myself to consider the idea of more with him.
I don’t know what will happen with the whole Europe thing. I work here and I love my job and it’s not realistic for me to bounce around Europe as a nurse, nor am I simply going to follow the guy around. That’s not who I am. There will be a lot of this that requires faith. Faith in him and faith in us.
Roman has his eclectic play mix going that has everything from rap to R&B to hip hop to old-school rock to eighties electronic to grunge. It’s so much fun, and I love his reaction every time I sing horribly off-key at the top of my lungs. Like I’m doing now to Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’.”
That is until he turns the volume down as we get off the highway and drive into town.
Lavender Lake, Maine, is an adorable, quintessential small town with cute shops and New England flair. At the very end of the strip is a nondescript building that I know to be Lenox Moore’s shop. Lenox is best friends with Quinn and Crew’s father, and they basically grew up with his family since they’re all Central Square people.
It’s no surprise to me that this is who Roman trusts with his tattoos. But man is it a schlep up here.
The air is chilly as we step out of Roman’s SUV, and I tuck my hands into my pockets. Roman wraps his arm around my shoulder and leads me toward the door but stops before he opens it, his hands on my shoulders and his expression wary.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Okay,” I reply cautiously since his tone is uncertain, if not a little cryptic.
“You might freak out a bit.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “You mean more than I already have today?”
“Yes.”
“Great. Just what my heart needed to hear. You’re scaring me, and I’m already nervous. Plus, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how much more I can take.”
He releases a breath and turns toward the street, watching the people come and go as they shop, and now my heart is really going haywire.
“Do you have a secret kid I know nothing about or are going to prison or actually moving to Europe forever?”
A smile hits his lips, but he doesn’t respond and what the fuck?
I tug on his shirt, drawing him back to me. “What? Just tell me.”
“The tattoo you saw in Mexico? The one I didn’t tell you about?”
“Yeah?”
His eyes hold mine. “It’s half of an infinity symbol.”
My eyebrows draw together. “Okaaay. Why didn’t you just tell me that?” I don’t get the big deal with this. He’s scaring the shit out of me over a half an infinity symbol?
“Because I had half of it inked when I came back to Boston and had decided I was finally ready to make my move on you. I told myself I’d get the other half done when I had made you mine.”
My lips form a giant O and my eyes are bulging out of my head cartoon-style.
“You got an infinity tattoo for me?”
