Page 235 of The Unwilling Bride
I lean back in my seat. “I don’t want you to change yourself externally, James. I want you to share your feelings with me. For us to have an honest conversation. To have better communication. That’s what I want.”
“That’s what I want too.” He leans forward. “I’m trying…to speak my mind. To tell you how I feel.”
My eyes track the flush spreading over his cheekbones.
The Ice Commander, flushed? And looking…vulnerable? My chest tightens.
He's always so controlled, so sealed, that seeing the composure slip even this much feels like watching a fault line crack.
It’s thrilling.
And terrifying.
"James, are you okay?” I ask softly.
“Of course, I’m not okay. How can I be, when you’re not there anymore?” He jumps up and begins to pace. Pulls his hand out of his pocket to push his hair back.
Something tumbles to the ground.
I glance down and see not one, not two, but a bunch of hair ties spilling out at my feet.
My gaze hovers over them, stunned.
“Are those…my hair ties?”
He stops mid-step, glances down, then back at me, his chest heaving. The tension radiates off him in waves.
He’s uncontained, raw, completely undone.
James Hamilton is having an emotional outburst. And the rainbow-colored vortex he’s standing in the midst of feels symbolic of his losing control.
He’s feeling everything for me.
For the first time, I see every piece of him. The desire, the frustration, the longing, all of it spilling into the open.
Seeing him like this, unguarded, I can’t help the tremor that passes through me.
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James
I’ve taken to carrying around her hair ties because they make me feel close to her. I hoped they’d give me courage to finally speak my mind.
How could I be so clumsy that I’d let them fall out of my pocket?
My heart races like I’m having a cardiac.
I've been in dark places. Completed missions where I wasn't sure I'd come back. But I feel as if I’m finally seeing the light. She’s my light.
But this woman, standing three feet away with escaped tendrils of hair and a flush on her cheeks, is the thing that might finally undo me.
I’m overcome with an onslaught of emotions.
She’s the ember that sparks the fire within, bringing me back to life. To be the man she deserves, not the one I’ve been hiding behind.
I bend down, gather up the hair ties. I hold them out to her, unsure of her reaction but do so apprehensively.
She looks at them, then back at me.
