Page 64 of Forbidden Dreams
It was probably because we were keeping this a secret. It gave it a clandestine feel which only heightened our desire. It didn't have anything to do with how I seemed to fall a little more for her each day we spent together.
When we came down from our high, I shifted her off me, then led the way inside so we could clean up. We ended up in her small shower, moving out of each other's way as we soaped our bodies and hair.
When we were done, we moved to her equally small bedroom, and I curled up on her bed. There was something to be said for tiny spaces. We were forced to be together. There was no moving away from each other.
I had to consider the fact that she might be the one for me, and I couldn't have her. There was no getting around her brothers. They wouldn't be okay with me seeing their younger sister. I was fooling myself if I thought otherwise.
I didn't see any future for us, outside our bedrooms. I didn't want to fall asleep and wake up to another day where we had to pretend nothing was going on. But tomorrow was Thanksgiving. The ultimate test. Could we act like everything was normal?
She softened against me, her breathing turning even. I couldn't move for fear of waking her. I was stuck in this prison of my own making, unable to move forward and not wanting to go backward.
Tomorrow, I'd have to pretend that she meant nothing to me. That she was just my friends' irritating younger sister. I wasn't sure I could keep up the charade or that anyone would believe the act anymore. So much had changed. She'd quickly become a part of me, the best part.
After years of feeling numb or disinterested, now I felt too much. Surely, anyone could see the emotions on my face.
Then there was the guilt. The Sterlings had taken me in when I needed them. And this was how I repaid them, by dating their daughter? They wanted Aspen to be happy and cared for. I wasn't the guy they'd want for her.
How could I be when I came from a dysfunctional family?
I slipped out of bed and found my phone in my jeans on the porch. I pulled on my briefs and opened the screen. There was a message from Emery.
Emery: I'm coming home tomorrow to see you and Mom.
Cooper: I thought you were going to stay at school.
We talked about her moving forward with her life and finding new friends and found family. There was nothing left for her here.
Emery: One of my friends is giving me a ride.
I’d hoped she'd be invited somewhere, but maybe she was like me and turned down every invitation.
Cooper: I usually eat at the Sterlings, then go to Mom's.
I wouldn't be at Mom's until later. She didn't cook anymore since it was just her.
Emery: I'll stay at Mom's. Don't worry about me.
I didn't want her to be alone, and I always worried about her.
Cooper: Mom doesn't cook anymore.
Emery: I'll figure something out.
It was too late to order a meal. I hoped that I could get more leftovers from the Sterlings to cover meals for both of them.
Cooper: I'll see if the Sterlings can spare more leftovers.
Emery: When are you going to stop thinking that you have to take care of me?
Cooper: Never
It was my job to take care of her. I realized that when my dad kept coming and going. I was the one to pick up the pieces. I was the one who got a job at fourteen and worked all the hours I was legally allowed to earn more money for groceries.
Emery: You're stubborn.
Cooper: I've been told that a time or two.
Emery: One day you're going to meet someone, and you can use all that protective energy on her.
