Page 38 of Grip Me Tight
He turns to me. “What? Is something wrong with the pizza?”
I put the pizza down and wipe my fingers. “I just realized what this is.” I look around to see where Hamish put my bag.
The planes take off on the screen and Tanner hits pause on the movie. “What what is? It’s pizza?” He looks confused.
“No, I mean this.” I spread my hands to take in the room. “Tonight. You’re worried about me, or at least you think Mom and Dad will be worried about what happened at the concert, so you’ve brought me up here to make sure I don’t head out with anyone.”
“Dead wrong, Silver.”
I hold up a hand. “And then you heard my poor little sick girl story and felt bad, so you decided to take pity on me and invite me for pizza and movie.”
“I asked if you wanted food before all that, but sure, if that’s what you want to think.” He takes a bite of burger, chewing thoughtfully while he watches me. “I was hungry. You’re here and I offered you food. I’m going to watch a movie anyway. Don’t read more into this.”
Exactly. This is nothing. I’m just an employee. I should be in the room with Hamish and the guys. I pick up my pizza again and take a bite. It’s delicious. Okay, maybe I can stay here for one piece.
“I don’t do anything out of pity.”
His eyes drop to my mouth, then back up to meet my gaze again and I shiver, like he’s just run his fingertips across my lips. He snaps a bite off a fry. “A pity date would have been you going out with Emil when we both know you want to be here, with me.”
“I’m just here to work, Tanner. I’m not chasing you.”
His dark eyes hold mine and I can’t read their depths. He turns away first. “I’m not running.” He flicks the remote and Maverick and Goose fill the screen.
15
Tanner
Idon’t know what it is about her. She gets under my skin, making me feel things I’ve no business feeling. There’s a connection between us and I’m loath to keep denying it. Sterling isn’t the same girl I walked away from five years ago. Back then, while it wasn’t easy to tear myself away from the adoration in her eyes, the pure sweetness of her lips, it was easy to remind myself how absolutely off-limits she is.
Hearing her self-consciousness about being here on tour, worried that people might find out her medical history guts me. Is it really what she thinks about me? That I walked away because I couldn’t handle her illness – or the facts surrounding her recovery for that matter?
I don’t care how it happened. Only that it did.
I gaze down at her. She looks so small in the oversized sleigh bed, her pale hair fanning out around her, her bright pink fingernails a spark of color against the white of the bedding where she curls the sheet into her cheek. Last night, she fell asleep on the couch, tears on her cheeks after Goose didn’t make it back, a smudge of tomato sauce on her shirt.
Not for the first time did I wish things were different. That I was different. I would lean over and kiss her awake and see her smile sleepily up at me, her arms open. I wouldn’t worry about her finding me some night, ranting about spiders all over the floor, or sitting in an icy shower to wash away blood only I can see.
Instead, I just watch. I debated leaving her on the couch, but it didn’t look comfortable, so I kicked the security guys out of the second bedroom and told them I was heading to bed. They locked the place down before going to their own rooms. With security outside on the main penthouse floor, and me not going anywhere, we’re good for the night.
I lifted her body, her curves imprinting themselves against me, and I can’t help but compare the skinny kid she was with this luxurious armful. Her waist is soft and curved into the sweetest hips and ass I ever wanted to sink my teeth into.
Noah’s little sister.
Emma and Don’s princess.
With Jake the jerk being history, she can find someone who deserves her, who supports her and will worship her like a queen.
She’s destined for someone better than me. I might be a rock star now, but who knows what the future holds for us? What happens if the whole thing goes down the shitter and I need to blow my money on meds to keep the crazy at bay to avoid ending up like my mom?
She should not be here in my arms. Close enough for my obsession to think she’s here for the taking.
I’m standing over her sleeping form like a goddamn creeper. Hamish texted me at four forty-five for our run and I blew him off so I could watch her breathing, wishing I was naked in bed with her, fucking her into the softness of the sheets, hearing her moan my name and dragging those pink nails across my back.
I should go out and find some willing chick and fuck her just to get it out of my system, but the thought leaves a taste like ashes in my mouth. Another girl won’t feel like Sterling.
I’ll never be satisfied.
A buzz rattles the nightstand and I lunge for the phone before it can disturb her. After putting her to bed, I packed up her stuff and brought it in, so she wouldn’t freak out when she wakes. I laugh to myself grimly. Who am I kidding? She’s going to freak out anyway over falling asleep here, especially if the first thing she sees is me.
