Page 24 of Grip Me Tight
Sterling pales and stabs a finger at her screen. “It’s fine. I can handle it.”
“Honey, is something wrong?” Emma’s brows are drawn, and she looks down the table at Don, who is frowning.
The kitchen phone rings again. My stomach tightens, looking at the panicked expression on Sterling’s face. “I think it’s a great idea to have Sterling replace Avery.”
Sterling swings her gaze to mine, her beautiful mouth open. “Really?”
Noah gives me a little punch in the arm. “Laird was pretty impressed with her. With us, and now Sterling, Kingmaker is officially a family affair.”
The easy way Noah includes me in that sentence is a bitter pill. While I love Noah like a brother, and I consider Emma and Don to be the parents I’d give anything to have been born with, I can’t forget that I’m just an outsider. I look over at Sterling, her eyebrows pulling together in a frown. Suspicion clouds her eyes. Is she thinking about the other night? Is she thinking about my hands on her naked body? Because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about doing it again.
With her on tour, maybe I’ll be able to get the chance.
I’m definitely going to hell.
12
Tanner
Chicago
The high from the show is still coursing through my veins as we’re ushered into the nightclub for the after-party. Screams ring in my ears as I smile and wave at the people excitedly waiting for us. Serge has his earpiece in, just in front of us, coordinating our movement through the club. You’d think I’d be used to this by now, but it still blows me away every time someone tells me they love our music, tears in their eyes. And they love us, in a crazy, possessory way with no rhyme or reason, a manifestation of lust into art or fame or whatever. I never went to university, but Noah did some art history and psychology on the side and when he says there would be no Kingmaker without its fans, he’s right. It’s the energy that feeds us. I watch as Slade twirls his drumsticks over his head, pointing one at a hot redhead in a white dress and we pause a few seconds while security tags her in the crowd. She’ll receive a special invitation in a few minutes and not to be outdone, I see Blaine scanning the crowd, picking out a group of women, each one just as beautiful as the next. The guys are wired, hopped up from the show and the excitement of Ajax’s project coming to fruition tonight.
I wish I didn’t feel so disconnected, almost hyper-alert like a dog sensing a storm. I check my watch, but I know it has nothing to do with the show, or the fact that Ajax disappeared when we arrived and it’s now looking like he’s going to be late for his set. It has to do with the fact that Sterling arrived in Chicago last night and is probably just getting back to her hotel room after checking with Laird whether she needed to be on-hand tonight for Ajax’s set. I’ve barely seen her, and yet I’m totally aware of her presence. It’s like waking up a few minutes before your alarm is set to go off and you close your eyes thinking you’ll stretch out a little more sleep, but your body is tight with anticipation.
She’s all I can think about. Every time I turned around at rehearsal today, I thought I saw glimpses of her pale hair, her curvy body, or heard her laughter.
I even heard a few bars of music in my head, but when I tried to listen, they slipped away.
Sterling’s brought my music back.
“What’s got you so uptight! We played a killer show.” Slade claps his hands down on my shoulders from behind.
“We absolutely, did. That was an amazing solo tonight. Totally nailed it, man,” I say, twisting in my seat to see Slade and Blaine bouncing around like a couple of kids.
“Oh yeah, brother. It was fuckin’ killer.”
Blaine punches me lightly in the arm. “Whatcha checking your watch for, Superman? Not heading to bed too early, I hope.”
The twins have been calling me Superman for years. A play on Man of Steel, but Slade swears it’s stuck because I’m impenetrable. Nothing gets in, nothing gets out. “Nah, just wondering where Ajax is.”
“Maybe he got stuck in the bathroom,” Slade says, looking around. “Like the time he got trapped with those girls who barricaded the door.”
Blaine laughs. “Jesus, that guy has all the luck.”
I’m chuckling at the memory when Laird pulls out a chair next to me. Two women are standing behind him, a tall, stacked blonde who looks like she could eat Laird for breakfast and a shorter woman with an amazing rack and skin-tight jeans who looks like she might pass out. She’s stunning, but she looks out of place, so I give her a nod. “Hi, I’m Tanner.”
She introduces herself and her friend as the twins check them out with interest, but Laird surprises us by announcing, with a warning in his voice, that the hot brunette is with Ajax. Ajax always has women around, but I’m not certain he’s ever bothered to distinguish one of them by name, let alone introduce someone to the group. If this is the real deal, all the better, if it means I don’t have to worry about him sniffing around Sterling.
The lights go down in the club, and a spotlight appears over Ajax on the stage. Fuck, am I ever glad I suggested this to him. He’s a natural up there, just him and his guitar, and I make a mental note to record something that gets his voice on a track. I watch closely, and he’s singing directly to our table. To the black-haired woman, Natalie. She’s entranced and the tension between them is palatable.
I know Sterling has been to our shows. She’s attended with her parents and of course, she was at the show tonight, but there’s never been this intimacy I’m witnessing now between Ajax and Natalie. Tomorrow night, I want Sterling on the side of the stage. I want to feel her eyes on me, to know she can feel the heavy beat of the music in her blood and see her smile when I’m done.
* * *
Sterling–Chicago
“I need to get a new phone.”
