Page 59 of Grip Me Tight
“Yeah, nice. What’s wrong with nice?”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s exactly what every girl wants to hear the next day, Tanner. It’s been ‘nice’.” She grins at me when she says it, bumping her leg against mine playfully.
I put my hand on her leg. “That part has been amazing.” I know she’s trying to lighten the mood, but I don’t want to downplay what’s happening between us, even though I should. I squeeze the warm satin of her thigh and slide my hand up to the hem of her shirt, tugging her towards me. “That part is going to continue to be amazing.” I lean in to kiss her, and her eyes flutter closed, but not before I see the doubt in them. I breath in her sweet scent, holding myself away from her until her eyes snap open with a frown.
“What?” she says.
“Something is wrong. Are you going to tell me what it is?”
She exhales, covering my hand with hers. “I’m having fun too. Too much fun, too fast.”
“I don’t know how that’s a bad thing.”
“I just don’t want you to run cold on me anymore.” She drops her hand from mine. “I was afraid when I woke up that I’d see Mr. Hard-as-Steele when I came down that ladder.”
“But you didn’t,” I say.
She shakes her head. “I didn’t.”
I feel like she wants to say more, but she doesn’t. She finishes her tea and stands. “Let’s keep this fun, okay?”
“I’m good with fun,” I say slowly. I feel like I’ve lost the conversation. I stand and take her hand, the one with the bracelet I bought her.
“I just mean, you don’t have to tell me this is temporary. I know. And it’s all good.”
“It is?” The adrenaline that fired me up earlier this morning is fading, and I’m left feeling raw and exposed from the writing, from my thoughts about Sterling and where this could go. Now it’s like she’s driving little spikes into the bubble of happiness that was tentatively expanding around me. She pulls her hand from mine, wrapping both around her mug, heading up the little path.
“I just want you to know I’m not going to turn this into something it’s not.”
“And what is this, Sterling?” I ask, jogging to catch up to her.
“A fling with a rock star.”
“A fling?” I’m echoing her now like an idiot.
“Yes, it’s just sex. Hot sex.”
“Is that what you want?” I reach out and grab her arm, spinning her around to face me.
Her eyes meet mine and I’m not sure what I see there. I’m not even sure what I want to see there. She nods firmly. “Yes, that’s all I want. If we’re going to pretend, let’s pretend I’m the maid you’ve caught bent over the bed in your hotel room, or one of those girls in the line-up yesterday who wanted a taste of Tanner Steele, rock star.”
“And the posts? Our honeymoon?” I want her to admit she feels something for me, I’m not just a guy who’s good at getting her off. She can pretend all she wants that this is temporary, but I just realized it isn’t for me.
Not anymore. Even if it means I lose everything.
I’ll gain her.
She waves her hand. “I have plenty of shots I can filter in this week. We’ll go back to town and take a few more, but here, we don’t have to pretend for anyone. It can just be what we want.”
What I want is her. Her laughter and spontaneous hugs. I want to make her tea, goddamn it. “This is just sex for you?”
She tugs her sleeve out of my hand. “Are you not listening to me, Tanner? Yes. All I want from you is sex. I know you can have anyone you want—”
I pull her back to me. “Stop it, Sterling. I don’t want anyone. I want you.” I take her mouth in a kiss driven by all of my frustration and confusion. There’s a soft thud from the mug as it hits the sand, and I lose my balance as she kisses me back, her hands frantic as they push and pull at my clothes. I stumble, letting her come over me as we fall to the sand. Sterling pushes up on my chest, her eyes wide with desire and something I can’t name.
“You don’t have to say that.”
I growl in frustration and she cuts me off with a kiss, moaning as I slide her over my erection. “Sterling.”
