Page 47 of Grip Me Tight
18
Sterling
Iplay around with the controls in the jeep, trying to figure out how to keep the arctic blast on Tanner’s side of the vehicle. “How much longer?”
A muscle jumps in his jaw. “If it was an hour and a half when you asked me an hour ago then I would guess around thirty minutes. But seeing as how you ask every five minutes, who knows?”
I settle for turning the air conditioning down entirely and Tanner shoots me a dirty look, switching the knob back up. “It’s stupid hot, Sterling.”
“My eyeballs are about to freeze, Tanner.” I mimic his grumpy tone even though I know it’s childish. When Laird explained the situation to me, I had already seen the photos and Vera got to me first. Well, first after Nana Stella who texted me to make sure I was okay and when I told her everything was fine proceeded to ask me why I didn’t see how much ‘that boy’ loves me before now.
Nana Stella must have had one too many of Mom’s mimosas. Speaking of Mom, she called too, but apparently only to remind me to ‘be careful’.
Laird and Vera offered me the moon if I do this, and while the thought of turning them down and telling Tanner to figure his shit out all by himself is appealing, I just couldn’t do it. I love the idea of a behind-the-scenes look at Tanner’s process, and even though I’m not too keen on the way we left things the other morning, the opportunity to be alone with him for three weeks is too tempting. If I can get past his whole push and pull and get him to act on his desire for me, it’ll be worth it. On the other hand, he could push me away entirely, but not if he wants this crazy plan to work. He’ll have to pretend he’s head-over-heels for me and that sounds like fun to me.
Who wouldn’t want one of the biggest rock stars in the world falling for them?
I have to admit, I am a little self-conscious about the photos on the balcony. It’s just a weird angle, but I’m not six-feet tall and a size two and having TMZ suggest I look pregnant stung a bit. But I’m shrugging it off and, in my head, I apologize for anytime I ever looked twice at some woman in a magazine and wondered what the bump was. It’s more likely she had three slices of pizza like I did the night before.
The obvious aside, the promise of pretending to be Tanner Steele’s not-so-secret girlfriend certainly has benefits. For example, Jake the jerk will have to leave me alone. Laird came through with a new phone which helps me not dread the sound of a new notification popping up, and I’m slowly transferring everything over. Just before I switched off my old phone, Jake got to me again, by borrowing the phone of a friend of ours. We had a heated conversation where he wanted to know exactly what I was doing in the photos he’d seen online and I have to admit, it felt very good to start off Vera’s campaign by telling my horrible ex-boyfriend I was dating the lead singer of Kingmaker, and that Tanner Steele knows how to treat a woman properly.
It’s a strange pleasure to be able to tell the stories of your teenage fantasies and know that no one is going to call you out on them.
It’s also very weird to suddenly be in the spotlight. Some influencers want all the followers, all the celebrity, all the craziness that goes along with it. Despite my YouTube channel, which focuses mainly on my charity work, and playing around with my Instagram in university, I prefer to be behind the camera writing the story over being the face of the story, which is why I love working with Gordon and some of my other clients. There’s more creativity in that kind of work, at least to me, and it’s a big plus not to have to worry if I should be creating content out of my morning coffee, or if I can just simply enjoy my morning routine.
It’s been a whirlwind couple of days, meeting with Laird and Vera to discuss the options, dealing with the Ajax issue and positioning myself as Tanner’s first public girlfriend.
The first time I stepped outside the hotel with Tanner, security had to clear a path for us. People pushing in on us, shouting questions, wanting to know who I was. And then the inevitable onslaught as people found my social media accounts and made the connection between me, Noah and Tanner.
Such a cliché, the brother’s best friend. Noah took off for Nashville the day after the photos came out, which was the plan anyway, but I know he’s not happy about the situation. He’s working on some stuff out there and he gets to visit with Nana Stella, so it’s a nice break for him. He’s not feeling his place in LA ever since that whole stalker bit, and I think he might be looking to sell and maybe buy a place in Nashville. I haven’t talked to him since he walked into my hotel room after his dinner meeting with the guys and he told me he never wanted to have to choose between me and Tanner.
I know Noah worries about me. And I know he knows I had a huge crush on Tanner, but I’ve assured him this is just business.
Even if I wouldn’t mind mixing a little pleasure with it.
Finding out Tanner wants me is thrilling and frustrating in equal measures. I know he doesn’t want to lose my family, but that won’t ever happen. No one knows the future, but we can’t control it either. We can only hope for happiness. If my illness taught me anything, it was that you live in the moment. If I lived every day scared about what the future holds for me, I’d still be living with mom and dad, afraid to do anything.
I never thought I’d get the opportunity to see anything other than the inside of a variety of hospital rooms, but I received a gift, and in my mind, gratitude means using the gift, not locking it away because of fear it will get damaged. I intend to live, love and have fun with my life.
But travelling with Tanner has been anything but fun. His frustration when he was recognized at the airport was evident. We pretended we didn’t see the cameras and phones pointed in our direction, but his arms were like steel bands when I suggested we make it look like we’re taking off on a romantic getaway. I know he’s angry about everything right now, and I’m the only one around so I’m getting the full brooding effect.
I sigh. “You know, if this is going to work, you have to talk to me.”
“It’ll work.” He glances in the rearview mirror. “But it doesn’t look like there’s anyone we need to convince around right now.”
“So, you’re only going to talk to me when there’s someone else around?”
No answer. He presses a button on the steering wheel and Johnny Cash’s ‘Hurt’ makes my heart ache. I lean forward and turn the volume down. Tanner taps his fingers on the steering wheel.
“Driver gets to control the vehicle,” he says mildly.
“That includes the musicandthe temperature?”
“Yes.”
“You have control issues, you know.”
Tanner slides his gaze to me. “I’m well-aware. You can use it as a reason to dump me when we’re done.”
