Page 133 of Doctor's Bossy Match
“Where are we going?”I call after her as she retreats to her room, probably to get ready.
“You’ll see,” she calls back.“But bundle up.It’s cold out there.”
I tip my coffee out and go to the bathroom.When I see my reflection, I see she’s not wrong.I’m a mess.Maybe getting out of the house isn’t the worst idea.
We spend the day browsing shops, wandering through boutiques and department stores.She buys me two tops and a pair of shoes I like, but didn’t plan on getting.I don’t stop her.I don’t want to waste her money, but saying no would just make her worry more.So I smile, nod, and let her fuss over me.
That night, I prep for work like usual.Go through the motions.The next week follows the same rhythm… Hospital, home, dinners with Mom, the occasional phone calls with Dad, Scarlet, and Liz.
The work is good.It really is.Both the team and kids are sweet, and I’m learning new things every day.But the excitement I thought I’d feel?It hasn’t quite kicked in.There’s a strange, hollowness underneath it all I can’t shake.
The next Saturday morning, I’m curled up on the sofa with a coffee when Mom walks in from the kitchen, a second mug in hand.
“You’re not watching anything?”she says, glancing at the blank TV.
I shake my head to clear it.I was spacing out.“No.But go ahead, if you want.”
She sits beside me, tucking her legs under herself and placing a gentle hand over mine.
“I want to talk to you about something.”She dips her chin to make sure I meet her gaze.“And I want you to be honest with me.”
My stomach tightens.“Okay.What’s up?”
She watches me.“I feel like you haven’t really been yourself since you got back.I thought it was just a long drive or re-adjusting, but now I’m not so sure.”
“No?”
“There’s no life in your eyes.You just look… sad and tired.Like something’s missing.”
“I’m not sad,” I deny automatically, but even I don’t believe it.I know I’ve been off, but I’ve been secretly hoping that one day I’ll wake up and snap out of it.
“But you’re not you, either.You used to have this spark.”She gives me a soft smile, as if remembering a time.“Your quick comebacks, your energy, that happy Regan, and now it’s like the shell of you is walking around instead.”
I try to smile, but my throat closes up.“I’m just adjusting…” It’s the excuse I keep telling her.
“I’m wondering,” she says softly, “if maybe you’re forcing yourself to want something that doesn’t fit anymore.”
That lands like a punch to the stomach.I stare at her as she keeps talking.
“I mean, maybe Pulse Point was right for you.It wasn’t for me, but for you…”
I look down at her hand covering mine.
“Were you like this there?”
I can’t lie; she wants me to be honest.I shake my head slowly.“No.”
She exhales, lips pressed together in thought.“I think you need to really sit with this.Give yourself time.But also, be honest with yourself.”
“But this was my dream,” I whisper.“This ward, this hospital… it’s everything I ever wanted.”
“Dreams change,” she says.“We grow.We evolve.And that’s the beauty of it, Regan.You’re allowed to change your mind.You’re allowed to follow a new dream.”
I nod, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, even though I blink them away.
“I don’t want to rush it,” I murmur.“I want to be sure.”
“And that’s the right call.Take a couple more weeks.Keep showing up.But pay attention to what your gut is telling you.And if it doesn’t feel right”—she squeezes my hand— “follow your heart.You’ll never regret that.”
