Page 45 of Cut Off
Early this morning, I sent an email and officially took a position in Seattle producing a morning block for three million viewers a quarter, and I’m sitting here cataloging the auburn in Jonah Holt’s hair.
My sister can replace me; I called her last night too. She works at a daycare and is amazing with kids. She doesn’t have a Seattle problem. She also doesn’t have a Jonah problem.
I should tell him about Seattle. But I have almost a month before I start.
I can’t tell him now.
Cool cool cool.
“Hey,” he says, and his voice is so quiet I almost miss it. “I’m so glad you’re here, Zoe. I need you.”
I close my eyes.
I can’t tell him. Not today.
Tomorrow. I’ll tell him tomorrow. After the lawyer. After the dust. After I’ve figured out how to phrase a sentence that starts “so good news, bad news.”
“Okay,” I say, and I open my eyes, and I sit up straighter, and I clap my hands together because emotional whiplash is my new cardio. “New plan for today.”
“New plan?”
“Let’s go work out.”
Hestares at me.
“What?”
“You need to work out.” I tick it off on my fingers. “You have a body that runs on adrenaline. You just sat in a room and absorbed Gwen Anders’s verbal assaults without punching anything, which I respect. But that has to go somewhere, Jonah, or you’re going to crawl out of your skin by the time Eli gets out of school. So, it’s gym time. Lift things. Hit something padded. Burn it off.”
“You’re working out with me.”
“Sure. Why not.” I shrug.
“Okay, then.” He stares at the dashboard again. “You hate working out.”
“I have a complicated relationship with working out.”
“You once told me cardio was a tool of the patriarchy.”
“That was at a wedding, and I was three margaritas in.” I shake my head. “Actually, sober, I stand by that.”
The corner of his mouth lifts.
“You have a home gym,” I say. “Very little commitment. I can flutter in and out.”
“We’re really doing this now.” He throws the SUV in reverse. He looks at me one more time, like he’s trying to figure out what’s happening, and I look right back at him with all the authority I can muster, which is not a lot.
“Drive, Holt.”
He drives.
I look out the window at the clouds rolling in front of the sunny sky, and the courthouse shrinking in the side mirror. I don’t think about the way he said he needs me.
Tomorrow.
I’ll tell him about Seattle tomorrow.
14
