Page 73 of Royally Redeemed
“Mo is your friend. You haven’t told her about us?”
Ella stammered. “I… I… never by name.”
“I’m not cross with you, Eloise,” I said. “If you’re… my whatever… it’s complicated but you still are allowed friends. Trustworthy ones. And I expect that Monique is. As close as you two are, I am sure she will be discreet.”
“You’re whatever? What are we? What could we ever be?” Ella asked, almost combatively.
“I’d like to be something someday,” I said. “To you, I mean. I’d love to spoil your mercilessly, Eloise.”
She cocked her head adorably.
“You don’t see that?” I asked. “That I’ve been trying to make you smile this whole time? That I live for it, Ella?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I thought I was a conquest—am a conquest. And given that it made me feel powerful, I tolerated it. I thrived on it. I’m only young once.”
“Maybe it started that way?—”
Ithadstarted that way.
“But Ella, I struggle to disconnect from you. You do things to me beyond comprehension. I adore you. I’d follow you almost anywhere, I think. It’s like an obsession. And maybe it’s unhealthy, but I love to see you happy. I don’t know what is going on with you. There is something under there I can relate to. Something bad happened. And I don’t need you to break down and tell me all about right now, but… I’d like to make your life happier.”
Tears welled. “There’s no point going down that road. You havenothingto lose. I haveeverythingto lose, Duncan. Don’t you get that? You will cast me aside. You can—quickly. I cannot just take that bet.”
It hurt to hear her dismiss things.
“Ella, I wouldn’t do that. What I am telling you is that what I feel for you I haven’t felt inyears. The person who broke me and put me in this hole where I trusted no one… well, you’ve proventhat some special people are worth it. And… I want you in my life. I am serious. I don’t get like this. I don’t care about women like this. You aredifferent.”
“You want me to confess my love for you? Would you get off on that?” Ella scoffed.
“No,” I shook my head. “You could. That’s the thing, I wouldn’t run for the hills, Eloise. That’s what I am saying.”
She looked off into the distance. “Duncan, I need space to process this. You realize that, right?”
I nodded. “That’s fair. And if you don’t want it, I will back off and be my professional self.”
“It wouldn’t hurt?”
It would hurt like hell. My ego would be bruised but more than that, she’d break me. It was the first time I admitted to myself how much I wanted her in my life. And in more than just my bedroom. I wanted to be able to kiss, hold, and treat her in a way that I hadn’t longed for in years.
“It would,” I said. “But that is my problem, not yours.”
She bent to give me another kiss—a very tender one—and said. “Just give me a beat to think about it.”
44
CARING (TOO MUCH)
ELOISE
“Ella!Serieusement! Ella!”
I looked at Monique as we perused the racks at a lingerie shop.
“What?” I asked, trying to distract myself with a chemise.
“You're not absorbed in that,” Monique said. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” I lied.
