Page 58 of Royally Redeemed
“I know. But you love it, Eloise.”
I smirked. “How does it work when you’re… in love with someone? Is it just something you wall off or?”
“Well, ideally, I’d manage to find a partner kinky enough to tolerate it,” Duncan said. “But I have yet to find someone whocould scratch both those itches. In fact, it was one of two reasons my ex probably left.”
“Vanessa?”
Duncan moved uneasily in his chair. He sat his silverware down and dabbed his mouth, as if formulating what he would say.
“Yes. Nessa. She hated it and said it felt demoralizing. I loved her, so I set it aside. I don’t want it to take up my entire life, but it is fun playing. I dunno.”
“What was the other reason?”
Duncan hopped up. “I’m going to pop the other bottle of champs!”
“Duncan, what was the other reason?” I called, worried he wouldn’t return.
He answered, “The press. She saw marrying it as a dangerous proposition. The press tortured her every step of the way. She is a quiet person—a deeply private one. She used to get so wound up. She’s very sensitive—too sensitive for the job.”
“I could see that. You loved her very much? And she broke your heart?”
“Uh, she smashed it into bits a number of times, Ella.”
“Oh?”
“She fucked someone else. It destroyed me.” He topped our glasses, then sipped. “And it was difficult for me to even touch her for about a year after that. Our relationship was a mess. We saw a therapist, believe it or not. I loved her so much that I was willing to try.”
“But that is why you said in the texts about moving past it? It was about you moving pasthercheating rather than the inverse?”
He nodded.
“But why notsaythat, Duncan?”
“Because I loved her—I still do in a way. I’d never take her back. And I’m about to have a front row seat via the media to watch her marry some rich, boring prick. But… I’d never throw her under the bus like that. I know you think I’m a wanker, Miss Mills, but I do have some moral integrity.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that, Duncan. I have respect for you even if sometimes I want to shake you.”
He chortled. “Shake me?”
“Indeed. But… as frustrating as your righteous indignation is for me professionally, it’s also why I like you as a person. I get it. Standing for something can be hard to project to an audience. And a big guy like you? It always comes off angry.”
“I promise you I’m not an angry person. At least, I don’t think of myself that way.”
“No, you’re not. You’re sensitive,” I said. “And it makes you overprotective of those you love. Like, I am pretty sure you would kill anyone who laid a hand on that baby of your cousin’s.”
“Any of Leah’s kids, yes.”
I smiled. “And that is admirable, but it doesn’t translate well. Give me something to work with.”
He let out a long sigh. “I will try.”
37
ACCEPTING PITY
DUNCAN
7 January
