Page 29 of Road Trip to the Riviera
I slow down as I approach a small Renault van, the kind of vehicle that you’d only see in specialist car shows back home. It’s rattling along at quite a pace, the whole chassis vibrating. Checking the road ahead, I signal and pull out to overtake. And for a moment, I’m stunned. There appears to be a labrador in the driving seat.
‘What the—’ I begin before realising that of course, this is a left-hand-drive vehicle and I’m looking at the passenger seat.The dog regards me with exactly the level of disdain that I deserve.
The guy actually driving seems to take exception to my flexing Betty’s comparatively race-worthy speed of 40kmph and waves his fist as we pass.
Sarah laughs. ‘Think you’ve upset him.’
‘Don’t worry, he’ll never catch us,’ I quip, only for Betty to make a grinding sound, just to remind me that despite my best efforts at maintenance, she could break down at any second.
‘So, another farm?’ she says. ‘Does it have a website?’
‘Of course.’ I pass her the notebook where I’ve jotted the itinerary and her forehead creases. ‘Aren’t you meant to be some sort of computer whizz?’ She peers at my scribbles.
‘I know, I guess I’m just an analogue guy at heart. There’s something nice about just putting pen to paper.’
‘I get it.’
‘You do?’
‘Yeah,’ she says. ‘Using a spreadsheet would feel too much like work, right?’
I nod.
In actual fact, I don’t tend to use spreadsheets other than when I’m doing the accounts. But I don’t correct her. I’m not sure how many people truly understand how my business works. Sometimes evenI’m not sure.
Twenty years ago, I designed a software program that creates a mechanical process in factory machinery; and the program became integral to a lot of different processes. This tiny bit of software became bigger and more important than I could have imagined.
And suddenly I had a lot of money. The problem is, I’ve never managed to match the innovation in that first program. And there are so many more people in the field now, I probably never will. So, the majority of my role is now servicing, sellingand distributing and troubleshooting, rather than developing anything new.
Sometimes I forget I invented the thing in the first place.
I don’t mean to complain. In many ways it’s amazing that I can make a fair whack for minimal work, especially since I took Todd on. But in some ways, despite the money, I feel like a big fat failure. I peaked at twenty-three and have been treading water ever since.
‘It’s a millennial thing,’ she tells me. ‘We were brought up in analogue and even though we embraced digital, I think we still hanker after those simpler times.’
It’s hard to know whether she’s 100per cent serious. ‘Four channels on the TV,’ I say.
‘Five, but you could never quite tune the last one in properly.’
‘Oh yeah,’ I grin, remembering how hit and miss it had been.
‘No remotes?’
‘Not till I was six.’
‘Do you remember when if you needed a pee, you’d miss half a show?’
‘Oh God. And everyone would have to catch you up.’
‘I don’t know how we survived, to be honest. When I mention any of that to Louis, he looks at me as if I grew up in a cave!’ she says.
We both laugh, then lapse into silence. I wonder if Sarah, like me, is wondering where all the time went.
‘I don’t know though,’ Sarah says, musing, ‘I think there was something nice about having less choice. You know, everyone tuning in to the same thing, talking about it the next day.’
‘Yeah,’ I nod. ‘I guess it sort of bound us together. Even if we watched something awful.’
‘Especiallywhen we did,’ she agrees.
