Page 45 of Forever Dark
“Sit down.Sit down.”
Selena lowered herself into it while he eased back into his own.The movement cost him more than he wanted it to show.A brief wobble.A careful grip on the armrest.By the time he settled, the smile had returned, but the smile didn’t fool her.
“Still smoking your pipe, I see,” she said.
A spark of humor touched his eyes.“You always loved this one when you were a kid.”
He lifted it and drew once, then tipped his head and sent two smoke rings drifting into the dusk.They floated out past the porch rail and broke apart over the yard.
Against her will, Selena smiled.
“Show-off.”
“Worked on you back then.”
“It did.”
A dozen things she could have said sat uselessly in her throat.You need to quit.You look tired.Why didn’t anyone tell me you’d gotten frailer.Instead, she watched the smoke unravel and let the silence settle.
Not the time, she thought.Not for any of it.
“I thought you’d be mad at me,” she said.“I know I haven’t called much lately.”
Robert looked out across the yard before answering.“When you get sick, you learn to let go of the things that don’t matter.”
The words cut into her, though they were delivered gently.That made them worse somehow.Three years ago, he had been diagnosed with cancer.It had been a tough fight.Selena had paid for him to stay in a hospital in Washington during the treatment when his insurance didn’t cover all of it.That meant she could visit.It was supposed to have been for a few weeks.It took almost eight months before he was well enough to walk out of the hospital.Ever since then, he’d never had the same strong frame of his younger days.He went back to Harlan, and her sister, Diane, took over his care.She seemed to hate Selena for not relocating to help.But she couldn’t.She just couldn’t.
He shrugged one shoulder.“I’m just glad you’re here.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t call ahead.”
“You’re here now.”
The screen door stood shut behind him, the mesh gone silver in the dusk.Beyond it lay the kitchen in shadow, a strip of linoleum, the corner of the table, the dark mouth of the hallway.For one stupid second Selena expected her mother to come through with a plate of sandwiches and a dishtowel over one shoulder, complaining that the evening air would bring on a chill.
Nothing moved.
That absence was older than it should have been and still raw in places she didn’t like to touch.
“Is Diane around?”Selena asked.
A laugh escaped him, followed by a cough that bent him forward hard enough to make her lean toward him.
“Dad?”
He held up a finger, coughed into his fist, then sat back with wet eyes and a breath he had to work for.
“I’m all right,” he said.
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“What’s so funny?”
Robert wiped at the corner of his mouth with his thumb.“You shouldn’t be scared of your sister.”
Annoyance rose fast enough to cover everything else.“I’m not scared of her.”
