Page 127 of The Clinch

---

RINGSIDE (LIZ)

My eyes snap open to light slipping around the edges of blackout curtains I still don’t know how to work properly, to sheets that smell faintly of detergent and Leo’s skin, to silence so complete it feels staged.

Then I remember. He’s at camp.

I lie there staring at the ceiling, my brain reaching for the shape of the day and finding nothing solid enough to grab.

No shift.

No exam yet.

No emergency.

No Leo in the kitchen making coffee before I’m fully conscious.

The apartment is cool under my bare feet when I walk out of the bedroom.

The fridge stops me cold.

It’s absurdly full. Labeled containers. Dates. His name on some. Mine on others.

Of course Leo’s answer to camp is to build a system that keeps running even when he’s not here.

There’s a yellow sticky note on the shelf.

Eat breakfast.

The green smoothie is for you.

—L

“Bossy,” I mutter, but the word lands softer than I want it to.

Even absent, he’s still here. In the food. In the coffee beans. In the fact that I open the fridge and know exactly what belongs to me.

It should feel comforting. Instead it makes me restless.

I drink half a cup of coffee standing at the counter and listen to the apartment press its silence against me. Then I reach for my phone because apparently I don’t know how to sit still in a life that isn’t actively on fire.

MARCO

First day without you on shift with me

Sucks

Happy for you though

And one from Eden.

EDEN

I’m picking you up at eleven

You need new clothes and a manicure before school starts

LIZ

Since when are we shopping in Brooklyn?

---