Page 64 of A Shot at Love
Jules lightly pushed the cart forward to jostle her brother and he released his hold on the bars. She picked the most familiar brand of sauce and put it in the cart before they carried on to the next aisle.
“Back to what I was saying,” Cam said, “I was speaking with one of the athletic therapists for the team.”
“Did you tell him you get a weird rash from that one type of KT tape?”
Cam grimaced. “No because I actually forgot about that and I did get a rash last week so thanks for the reminder. But that’s not what I was talking to him about. He told me his wife is having a baby in April so he’s taking a leave of absence from the team, which means there’s an opening for a full time physiotherapist.”
Jules scanned the shelves for spices, knowing she needed to add a few to add to what little ingredients she already had in her kitchen. She hadn’t done much home cooking since moving in, and more often than not found herself in her brother's condo, sharing meals with him.
But Frankie had done so much for her, was always thinking about her and doing little things to make her smile. Jules wanted to show that she could do the same in return.
“Oh, that’s uh…that's great.” Jules smiled at him and grabbed some garlic and onion powder, throwing them into the cart alongside the other ingredients. “I can give it some thought and see if I know anyone who's looking for work. There's probably someone at that co-healing space I’ve been using.”
“No.” Cam put his hand on her arm and shook his head. “I want YOU to apply, Jules. It’s perfect for you!” He slid his hand up to her shoulder and jostled it lightly in the teasing way a sibling does and Jules just stared at him.
”Me? Why would I apply? I already work with you and I know I don’t do much until the offseason comes around so I was actually thinking of of branching out, trying something new and maybe even – ”
“Exactly!" He said, cutting her off with an amount of enthusiasm that took her by surprise. He didn't know yet that she'd been wanting to distance herselffrom his career, because she hadn't built up the courage to talk to him about it yet.
"Cam, I…I don't know," she replied, doing her best to give off an air of disinterest, hoping he'd pick up on it. "I'm not sure I've got enough experience and…"
"And Iknowyou’ve felt a bit directionless lately even if you don't want to talk to me about it. You’ve perked up recently but I can tell you’re bored and I don’t want you sitting around, waiting for me forever just because of a promise we made when we were kids.”
What Cam didn’t know was that her reason for seeming different as of late was all because of Frankie and as much as she didn’t want to admit that shehadbeen feeling lost since the move to Halifax…well, she’d been feeling that way for much longer if she were completely honest, he was right.
She did want more for herself but until now, she didn’t really know where to start when it came to finding it and for the longest time she'd been convinced that it existed beyond the sport of hockey. What if she were wrong?
“Jules, I really think this is a great opportunity for you to stay involved in something you love, but it's also a chance for you to further your career and maybe, one day, move on from me.”
“Move on from you?”
Cam smiled and Jules saw herself in his face. Sometimes it really was like looking in a mirror and there was something in his eyes, a kind of acceptance and realization she hadn’t seen in them before.
“I am so grateful for everything you’ve given up for me over the years but we’re not kids anymore and it’s taken me too long to accept that. With Mackenzie now…and the way I feel…I don’t know, I guess I just think I’m ready to grow up, y’know? And I know that means you and I have to grow apart in a lot of ways but I think it needs to happen.”
It was very surreal to be having this conversation with her brother in the condiment aisle at the grocery store of all places and even though it had been a long time coming, Jules didn’t really know what to say.
She always expected that she’d be the one to bring this up, that she would be the one to tell her brother how she thought it was time to live a little less for each other and little more for themselves, but Camwasgrowing up, and Jules was proud of him for that.
Cam appreciated her and what she’d done for him, sticking by him in the face of their loss, being his home when they’d lost theirs so many years ago, and even though it meant her own life didn’t always feel fulfilled, Jules wouldn't change a thing.
And if she really gave it some thought, she didn’t know if she would’ve been okay on her own for the last five, ten, fifteen years. Maybe she had her brother as a crutch, a reason for why her life stagnated, why she’d just accepted every move and every change in his career as if it were hers too.
But he was right, it was time for a change. And Jules thought of Frankie, thought of their relationship and what it was becoming. Jules knew she felt more for Frankie than she’d ever felt for another woman and she also knew Frankie wanted to build something for herself too, to put down roots and be somewhere she could truly call home. Jules wanted that too, and maybe they could have it together.
And then there was the job opportunity being dangled right in front of her face. Applying for the position was one thing, and if she got it?
Jules already felt like she was lying to her brother by not telling him about things with Frankie. He knew they were friends to an extent, knew they’d grown close, but he definitely didn’t know how close they’d become.
Right now they weren’t breaking any rules. There was nothing on paper that said their relationship wasn’t allowed. Would that change if she got a job with the team? What would it mean? Things were so new, so beautiful and shiny, and she knew what she and Frankie had was special. Did she want to put that at risk?
“I love you,” Cam said, giving her arm a squeeze. “And this could be really good for you, even though I know you don’t like handouts. I can’t get this jobforyou, but I did mention that my sister would be perfect for the role because you are, and maybe it’s okay, if just one more time…I do something to help you? Because if it does work out, you could build something really cool here with the Harbour and then one day, who knows where it might take you?”
Jules couldn’t argue that, could she? She sighed and wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. He rested his head atop hers and hugged her tightly. The familiarity of the embrace, one they’d shared a million times throughout their lives, was comforting and she pressed her face against his chest.
“My brother is all grown up.”
“Mostly,” Cam laughed. “And I still want you to make Mom’s lasagna for me.”
