Page 74 of A Shot at Love
“I wanted to bring something to your attention and maybe I’m in the wrong by doing so but my gut tells me it's the right thing to do.”
It was hard to get the words out but Frankie continued, knowing she’d have regrets if she weren’t honest now.
“I know the sport we work in and I’m not naive to the ways in which I’m perceived as a coach but I’ve reached a point where I feel like I’m unable to do my job because of how some of our own guys feel about me. I’ve seen it on the ice during practice when they openly disregard my decisions and I overheard a conversation that, frankly, made my stomach sink.”
Neil regarded her for a moment then motioned for her to take a seat. “I’m glad you’re coming to me about this, Frankie. And I want you to know that behavior like that within our own squad will not be tolerated.”
He leaned forward in his seat and clasped his hands on the desk in front of him.
“When we brought you into this team, I was thrilled because I have so much respect for you and for all women in sports. Your path here has not been easyand you have earned the right to coach in this league. You are damn good at it and professional athletes who are meant to trust your judgement one moment can’t be spewing misogynistic rhetoric the next.”
The compliment took Frankie by surprise and she sat up straighter in the seat. “Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate your support in this.”
“To be completely frank, Cameron Clarke came to me about this before you did.”
Hearing that threw Frankie for a loop. Aside from the brief conversation she’d had on the ice with Cam that day during practice when he’d asked her if she was okay, if she was having trouble with anyone on the team, she’d never spoken to him about anything other than playing hockey. She definitely didn’t confide in him about the ways in which she’d been disrespected by some of his teammates.
“Clarke?” She asked, unsure of what to really say.
Neil nodded. “Just last week he sat down with me in my office to let me know a few players have been, let’s just say, rather…unprofessional towards a member of our of coaching staff. He was referring to you and was worried that naming his own teammates would come back to shine on him in a negative light but we take those one on one conversations very seriously and everything is anonymous when it gets back to the players. He did a good thing by stepping up and speaking to me about it.”
Frankie knew that Cameron was a good guy, so she wasn’t shocked that he’d done what any good captain would do by bringing a team issue straight to the coach, but the Cam she’d been confronted by when he’d stumbled upon something she and Jules weren’t yet ready to share with him yet was a different person.
The way he reacted, the way he’d spoken to them – it was like a stranger was in the room. But maybe he was dealing with his own share of workplace pressure and anxiety.
It couldn’t be easy to have a captainship handed to you when you’ve never even worn an A on your jersey and being the face of a new franchise in a newcity, in a part of the country that had waited years for what they had now, was likely overwhelming.
She could sympathize with the struggles that came with their sport but it didn’t excuse the way he’d spoken to Jules and for that, she deserved an apology.
Jules had kept something from him when they typically shared everything with each other, and that something involved a person Cam shared a professional working relationship with. Frankie might only be an assistant coach, but she was still a coach.
“He recalled the ways in which you’ve been treated and the things he’s overheard certain players say about you,” Neil continued. “Suffice it to say, those members of our organization will be penalized for their behaviour following a chat with the board and will be slapped with a fine for unsportsmanlike and unprofessional behaviour. They will also be given mandatory sensitivity training from the league’s HR team.”
“Wow, that’s…good to hear. Thank you, Neil. I didn't really expect that.”
“Hockey fans are bad enough already, aren’t they?” He asked, though the question was entirely rhetorical. “You don’t deserve your own team to treat you the way the rest of the hockey world does. I hope it changes one day, I really do, but I want you to know that you are a valued member of our team, Frankie. And you deserve respect from all of us.”
When she finally left Neil’s office, she felt both relieved that her concerns weren’t ignored or invalidated and reassured in knowing she’d done the right thing by using her voice.
With one issue taken care of for now, that just left her and Jules to navigate the minefield that was Cameron and the reality that a job opportunity for Jules potentially meant they’d no longer be just partners, but coworkers too.
There was so much to think about and Frankie didn’t know what she needed more; a cigarette, a drink, or a kiss from the woman she loved.
She didn’t smoke, she was already getting a headache that alcohol would worsen, but the thought of seeing Jules was like a breath of fresh air when her chest felt heavy. She sat on an equipment case in the hallway for a few minutes, trying to gather her thoughts before heading out to find Jules and Sydney.Leaning her head back against the cement wall, she closed her eyes for a few seconds and allowed the hum of the arena’s HVAC system to settle her until a throat cleared to get her attention.
Slowly, she blinked open her eyes and found Cam standing a few feet away from her in his gameday outfit; a pair of dark jeans with white sneakers and a sport coat worn over a wool sweater. His backpack was slung over one shoulder and his hands were shoved deep in his pockets.
“Clarke,” she said in the deeper voice she often used when acknowledging her players. “Tough game tonight but you played great.”
And he had.
He’d been the best player on the ice from the first whistle to the final whistle, working his ass off to try and get something, anything, out of the game.
“Thanks.” He ran a hand through his hair then rubbed the back of his neck and looked anywhere but at her, like he was considering what he wanted to say next and struggling to find the right words. When he did meet her gaze again, he looked remorseful and downcast, a departure from his usual cheerfully tough exterior. “I wanted to apologize to you. And to my sister. I’m going to speak to her privately but… you’re here right now.”
Frankie stood and crossed her arms. She nodded, a sign for him to continue, and he nervously scratched the scruff of his short beard.
“My reaction yesterday had less to do with the fact that the two of you are…what you are…and more to do with the fact that I’ve been dealing with my own shit, or not…dealing with it, and I freaked out. I don’t have a good reason for it and my behaviour was unacceptable. I was genuinely glad when you and my sister became friends because our life hasn’t been easy, and it’s been even harder for Jules.”
