Page 31 of Hard Check
Leo picked up the phone. He wasn’t a man who chased guys, but something told him Dawson would be worth the effort. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight this time.
You drove away before I could kiss you back.
He hit send. Then he cleaned up the coffee, poured what was left in the mug down the drain, and stood at the sink with his heart racing.
He watched the screen on the counter. It stayed dark, and he could picture Dawson somewhere—the garage, his truck, his kitchen—staring at the message and realizing Leo had just bricked over his exit.
This was stupid. He had shit to do, and pining wasn’t on that list.
He pulled eggs from the fridge, cracked two into a bowl, and whisked them with a fork. The motion was steadying. He couldmake a decent scramble. He could make a lot of things if someone let him into their kitchen long enough to prove it.
The phone buzzed.
Dawson
I didn’t plan that.
Leo: No shit. If you quit fighting what you want, you might realize the best things aren’t planned
He poured the eggs into the pan and pushed them around with a spatula. The response came faster this time. Thirty seconds, maybe.
You don’t get it. Not all of us can just say screw it.
Fine. Then quit thinking about it. It was one kiss, not a marriage proposal.
Leo watched the three dots appear and disappear at the bottom of the text window. He wondered what Dawson was typing and deleting as he tried to figure out how to respond.
You say that like it’s easy.
Leo scraped the eggs onto a plate and ate standing at the counter.
Because it is. If it was really a mistake, let it go. There’s no sense beating yourself up about it. Have you considered you’re still thinking about it because it wasn’t a mistake? Because you did exactly what you wanted to do and now you’re trying to figure out what comes next?
That doesn’t change the fact I’m not out. I can’t be. Not right now.
Why? I think you’re making this bigger than it needs to be. I might be the new guy in town, but I don’t get the impression the locals would get out the torches and pitchforks the second they realize you’re not straight.
So much for not pushing. But dammit, it wasn’t like he’d be the first gay guy in town. From the looks of things, Gunnar’s business hadn’t suffered when he and Wes started dating.
Leo wasn’t surprised when the screen of his phone went dark. All he could do now was hope Dawson was really thinking about what he’d said and wasn’t so pissed off he would never speak to Leo again.
After breakfast, he showered, dressed, and checked the screen once more before heading out. Nothing from Dawson. But the conversation was still open, one short exchange that added up to more than Dawson had probably said aloud about his own wanting in years.
The Icehouse hithim with cold air, the smell of fresh ice, and Jonesy’s warm-up playlist bleeding through the locker room walls, something with too much bass and not enough melody that Jonesy would defend to the death. Leo dropped his bag at his stall and started pulling on base layers.
Carter was already half-dressed across the room, wrapping fresh tape onto his stick blade without looking up. Novo sat next to him, earbuds in. Riggs was telling a story about his daughter’s soccer game to anyone who’d listen, which at the moment was Novo, whose expression suggested he was trying to decide whether this qualified as entertainment.
“So she’s standing at midfield, right? Full kit. Shin guards, the whole deal. Ball comes to her, and she just…picks it up. Hands. Picks it up, looks at the ref, says ‘I don’t want it.’ Coach about had a stroke.”
“She’s six,” Novo said. “She plays when she wants, and she wasn’t interested.”
“She knows the rules! We practiced!”
Leo laced his right skate and heard his phone buzz in the jacket hanging on the hook above his stall. His fingers stilled. He didn’t reach for it. Not yet. He finished the lace, pulled the left skate on, tied it. Flexed his ankles. Then he stood, casual, stretched his arms overhead, and pulled the jacket toward him just enough to slide the phone from the pocket.
You’re not going to give up, are you?
Leo bit the inside of his cheek. The locker room was chaotic enough that no one was looking at him.
