Page 35 of Spicy Ever After
Beck: Good to hear! But, Hattie, why a rock?
I sigh, eat a brussels sprout, but it’s not as good as the sweet potatoes, so I go back to that. I glance around the table before reaching for my phone again. Between the tablecloth and my lap, I might be doing a good job of hiding the texting, but I honestly can’t believe Mom hasn’t noticed yet.
Me: THEY ARE UNASSAILABLE. THEY ARE NOT EXPECTED TO BE MORE THAN THEY ARE. AND THEY DON’T HAVE TO GO ANYWHERE.
I finish off the sweet potatoes and move onto the grits.
Hell, yeah.
I’ve never met a cheesy carb I didn’t like.
“Must she continue to bob her head like that?” Grandma Eloise hisses at Mom.
I go still.
Honestly, I didn’t realize I was stimming. The grits are just really good. And I’m eating them. Even though I can feel Mom and Grandma Eloise watching me take every bite.
Which might be why I’m stimming.
“Eloise, I don’t think?—”
Must you continue to be a cranky old twat?
Grandma’s gasp rips across the table.
“Hattie!” Mom looks horror-stricken.
Margaret’s eyes bug.
“Oh, shit. I said that out loud.”
And judging by the looks the other tables are giving us, I said it at my usual volume which, I’ve been told my whole life, is not an inside voice.
“I didn’t mean to say that out loud,” I attempt to whisper.
Grandma’s expression is pinched, her neck all blotchy. She turns to Mom, dropping her napkin on the table.
“You had better let Randall know about this before I do. Excuse me.” She pushes to her feet, her chin held high, and strides across the restaurant toward the restrooms.
Mom snaps her focus back to me, mouth still hanging open. She doesn’t just look surprised. She looks… wounded.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I?—”
“Harriet, how could you say that to your grandmother?”
I blink, stunned for a moment. I already explained that I didn’t mean to say it out loud.
“How? It just came out.”
To me, the question she should be asking is how come this hasn’t happened before? Because this is surely not the first time I’ve thought of Grandma Eloise as a cranky old twat. Not even the first hundred times.
And I honestly don’t know why I said it aloud this time.
“Inexcusable. When your grandmother returns, you need to apologize to her.” Mom’s nostrils are flaring. They only flare when she’s really upset.
“Apologize for saying it out loud?”
Mom’s brows leap. “No, Harriet. Apologize for insulting her.”
