Page 138 of Dream House
I swallow. It’s too big to explain. I try anyway. “I shouldn’t.”
Stella tilts her head to the side. “Shouldn’t what?”
“Want you this much.” The words aren’t enough. Not nearly enough.
But she doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, she watches me, curious but patient. “Why shouldn’t you?”
I swallow thickly, my skin itching everywhere she’s not touching, and she’s only touching one hand. “Because I’m not what you need.”
She’s quiet. I’m sure she’s going to drop my hand, agree, and turn away.
But she doesn’t. She takes a step closer, bringing our fronts just inches apart. Her frown is gone when she looks into my eyes.
“And what do I need?”
I smother a groan. Even with centimeters of air between us, I can feel her heat. I can see her pulse pounding in the swell of her breasts, her bodice tugged tight against the sweet flesh.
I lick my lips, try to make my tongue form words—the right words—instead of plunging into her cleavage, never to return.
“A better man.”
I’ve surprised her. Now she licks her lips, and God, why did Pen have to dress me in these drawstring pants? If Stella looks down, she’ll shriek.
“You don’t think you’re a better man?”
No.The answer is a solid no. I’m about to tell her so when she steps into my space and places a hand right on my chest—where the deep V of this ridiculous shirt gapes open. Her palm sears into my skin, and a shiver rocks me.
I want to grab her and yank her up to my mouth. It takes more control than I thought I had to resist.
“Stella—” It’s a plea. An appeal for mercy. She ignores it, her thumb executing a slow sweep down my breastbone.
“Because I think you’re a good man.” Her voice is breathy. The emotion I hear in it pierces me cleanly. I’m skewered. “You’re selfless, and thoughtful, and reliable, and you’re a true friend.”
I swear, I’m being torn open. I want to be everything she says. I want her to see me this way. But if I were any of those things, I wouldn’t be here now, standing in the shadows, ready to break the promises I made to myself.
After Tyler and Nina’s ambush—after Bear made me take a good, hard look at myself, I know they’re right. All of them. Nina, Tyler, Maggie, Bear, Zoe, Mom. I can’t be trusted around women who need me to be more than I am.
I can’t be trusted around Stella.
I shake my head. “I let everyone down.”
Her brows lift. “And how, exactly, do you do that?”
“I can’t be who they want me to be.”
And then what I see in her eyes threatens to take my knees out. I don’t think anyone in my life has ever looked at me like this.
“What if Ilikewho you are?”
Warning sirens wail in the back of my head, but they are nothing to the roaring in my ears, the pounding of my pulse, and the pull of my bones to connect with her.
Because how can I walk away?
It’s like the pour of honey, the way our bodies come together, a slow, golden fall. As soon as my lips meet hers, the ache I’ve carried for ten days vanishes. For one breath, it is a wash of relief just to have her with me again.
Just to be given the chance to have this.
It’s ridiculous how much I have missed this. Because how can you miss something you’ve only had once? We had one night, yet it owns me.
