Page 127 of Leave a Mark
Wren reached for the top of her blouse, and to his astonishment, she undid the first three buttons. She drew open the blouse to reveal her phoenix.
“Cherise asked me about this the other day,” she said, blushing. “I got it when I turned twenty-four, to mark the fact that I’d officially outlived Laurie. But Cherise told me that if I let everything that happened to me shut down my life, then, in a way, I hadn’t outlived anything. I’d still let all of that shit kill me.”
Lee watched her eyes pool with tears, and she brushed them roughly away, giving a frustrated shake of her head.
“So there really isn’t any choice, because it’s either life or death,” she said, talking over the break in her voice. “Laurie chose death, and I’ve been pissed at her my whole life. If I choose death, too, I’ll never forgive myself.”
Her eyes swam with tears, but they blazed with strength and determination. The woman across from him could create beauty and care for the elderly and heal the addicted and overcome evil. He’d seen it all with his own eyes. She could best him at ping-pong, spur his lust all night, turn his house into a home, and make a mean fried peach pie.
“And if you never love me back, I’ll lead a long and lonely life.” The words were out before he could call them back.
Wren’s eyes flew open in shock. “What?”
Lee shook his head. “Ignore me. It’s a side effect of the awe. Please continue.”
She watched him for a moment, a mystified look warring with the beginnings of a smile. “I… I have a long way to go. It’s not just a matter ofchoosingto be okay,” she said, balling one hand into a fist and planting it in the palm of the other. “That’s what Mamaw wants. That’s what Cherise would want for me, but at least you understand that it takes work. Don’t you?”
The way she tilted her head was almost a plea, as if sheneededhim to understand. And he did. He understood all too well. It would take work. It would take time, and Lee would give her that time. And the space.
“I do.”
The plea became a look of raw, unguarded yearning. “And you still want me… even though I’m such a mess? Even while I work through all this?”
Lee’s mouth fell open. “Wha — God! Yes!” He shot forward and grabbed her hands. “You mean — like right now?”
“Yes?” Wren hedged, eyes wide.
Lee’s smile almost hurt, but he needed to be sure. “You want to be with me — have me in your life — now?”
“I know it won’t be easy, but it’s life or death. Phoenix or ashes. Lee or regrets.” Wren shook her head, but her smile grew. “It’s not a tough call.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
WREN FOUND HERSELFin Lee’s lap, his smile lighting up her world.
He caught her mouth with a kiss before pulling back to look in her eyes. “I thought you were going to send me away again."
She ran her fingers down his cheek, loving the masculine smoothness of his skin, the line of his jaw. The last few hours had forced her to see what she’d tried to ignore. Even if she gave up on herself, Lee Hawthorne refused to give up on her.
So she damn-well better try.
“No, I’ve learned my lesson,” she said, shaking her head. “No more sending you away. I’d like you to stay right here with me — if you’re willing.”
His arms encircled her, his touch tender but insistent. “You know I am.”
Keeping her palm to his cheek, she moved her thumb over the softness of his lips. She needed to say it aloud so neither of them could hold any illusions. Her scars ran deep, and she couldn’t pretend otherwise. “I have a long road ahead of me.”
He kissed her thumb and spoke against it. “I’ll walk it with you. We’ll take our time.”
For the first time in her memory, it seemed like the horizon of her future rolled out before her with unlimited and happy possibilities. The feeling of promise, of rightness, grounded something deep in her gut. It wouldn’t happen right away, but she could see a time when she might be able to have what she never thought was possible. Peace. Absolution. Acceptance.
Because why couldn’t she have these if the impossible had already happened? Lee loved her. He knew the worst of her secrets, and he hadn’t run. Not even when she’d pushed him way. Instead, he’d marshaled an army and mounted an attack on her demons.
“What you did for me…” Wren began, but the words caught on the lump in her throat.
Lee squeezed her shoulders, patience and peace in his eyes as he waited for her to continue. “No one’s ever done anything like that. Don’t get me wrong. Mamaw, Cherise, Rocky, and Shelby, they’ve all been there for me. Always. But bringing them together to try to help me… and finding Evelyn…”
Wren was struggling to make herself understood, to try to put in words how it felt like he had redrawn the earth and the sky and the seas to make the world new — all for her. It was that huge.
