Page 57 of Someone Like Me
His name rises like a phoenix, glorious and aflame. But as much as I’d love to turn up on his doorstep with an overnight bag and attempt to convince him to share that futon with me, I know he’d just try to talk me out of my plan.
And as far as sharing a bed? Well, who am I kidding?
So that, at the moment, leaves Janine, my friend and neighbor across the street. I saw Janine just yesterday, pushing the stroller out her front door while I was heading to a class. It was almost ten in the morning, but she looked exhausted. She mustered a smile and a wave, but there was no mistaking the shadows under her eyes and the fatigue in her posture.
I won’t call and wake her up. I’ll text her. If she doesn’t answer, I’ll… Well, I’ll figure that out then.
Me: Are you guys up? I know it’s late, but I need a big favor.
I send the text and watch my phone. It’s almost eleven-thirty. But it is Friday, which means Janine’s husband James won’t have work in the morning. For all I know, they’ve hired a babysitter and are out.
Janine: The baby and I are up. Again. What’s wrong?
A sigh of relief escapes me. Thank you Baby Aaron for all your sleepless infant ways.
Me: I know it’s a lot to ask, but I need a place to sleep tonight. I can’t stay here any longer.
My friend’s response is immediate.
Janine: OMG! Of course. Come right now!
And then:
Janine: Is it Tori? Did she cross the line?
I bite my lip. There have been a few times I’ve gone over to Janine’s after a blowout with Tori. None since she’s had the baby, but Janine has always been a sympathetic ear. Naturally, she’s a Cancer.
She’s also getting her master’s degree in counseling, so, yeah, I guess talking to her is free therapy.
Me: It’s not just Tori. It’s a lot of things.
And that’s the truth. In fact, I can’t really blame Tori for this one. Or, at least, I can’t lay all the blame on her. My parents hold some responsibility.
But, I now realize, so do I.
I shake my head like a dog after a bath. It’s all so convoluted. I need time to reflect and self-examine. And at some point, I’ll need to face my family again, but that can’t happen until I’ve gotten my life together.
Janine: Come over. Now. I just unlocked the front door.
I press a knuckle to my lips, debating. And then I go for it.
Me: Could I bring Gemini with me?
If she says no, I know he’ll be fine here. I’ll come back first thing in the morning to let him out and feed him. It’s not a big deal.
Janine: OF COURSE!!!
A lungful of relief leaves me in a rush. Okay. Okay. I can do this.
Me: Thank you. Thank you. You are the best!
I tuck my yoga mat in its sling and loop the bag I’ve packed over my shoulder. As quietly as possible, I creep down the stairs with Gemini running ahead of me, excited and curious about what we’re doing in the middle of the night.
Working soundlessly, I pack Gem’s food and his dishes into a sturdy paper sack, and he twirls and leaps at my feet the entire time, thinking he’ll be getting a midnight snack.
“No, buddy,” I whisper, and then I text Janine again.
Me: Walking over now.
