Page 65 of Shelter
“Yep.” I swept my gaze down his body and up mine. “And we did more than this.” And, yeah, that was true, but just barely. But it was the only way I could think of to make Cole see me as more than a child.
His nostrils flared. And Cole definitely wasn’t looking at me as if I was a child. I wasn’t even sure he was seeing me at all. His mind’s eye was somewhere else entirely.
“What did they do to you?” He spoke through clenched teeth. I rolled my eyes at this ridiculous display andtsked.
“What girls and boys do.” If he knew I was bluffing, he gave nothing away. Hovering above me, he still looked furious.
“Well, you should stop.”
I blinked my eyes in exaggerated confusion and braced my hands against his shoulders. He was still planted between my legs, and I could still feel his steely erection. Right. There. “So, let me get this straight,” I said, rolling my hips and creating just enough friction between us to make his breath hitch. Mine hitched to, but I’d been prepared. “You don’t want to be with me, but you don’t want me to be with anyone else. Is that right?”
Cole’s jaw worked. “I never said I didn’t want to be with you, Elise.” His focus moved between us. “I think it’s pretty damn obvious that I do. And, no, if I’m being honest, I don’t want you with anyone else.”
Well, that shut me up. But what did he mean? He wanted to be with me? But he couldn’t be with me? Was he asking me to wait for him?
He blew out a frustrated breath. “Elise, I don’t want to, but I need to go.” The fight left his eyes, and I hated it. I needed him to fight. “It’s a good thing I’m leaving.”
I willfully played dumb. “Of course it is. You’re protecting your family.”
Cole shook his head, looking miserable. “It’s a good thing for you I have to go.”
“No. It’s not.” It felt like the worst thing for me, but I couldn’t admit that. I swallowed the sudden thickness in my throat and bulldozed ahead. “Will you come back?”
He closed his eyes, looking pained. “Of course, I’ll come back.” The way his voice dropped stoked my doubts. Cole started to push himself off me, and I gripped his shoulders.
“Wait. When?”
He opened his eyes and gave me a grim smile. “When’s your birthday?”
I hesitated, not liking where this was going. “July tenth. But that’s too far from now.”
He nodded, the grin stamped on his mouth didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, especially since I’m talking about your eighteenth. Not your seventeenth.”
My brows leapt, and I tightened my grip on his sweater. “That’s not funny.”
Cole shook his head. “I’m not kidding. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that I can’t be around you without touching you, so I need to put some distance between us for a little while.”
Eighteen months without seeing Cole? Even before today, I would have flinched at that thought. But now? Now, it sliced me in two.
“You don’t want to do that,” I pushed.
Sadness tinged his eyes. He brought his hand to my cheek and caressed me with his thumb. “You’re right. I don’t. But I will.”
“I won’t wait.” I wanted to punish him. And wanted it to be the truth, but I suspected it wasn’t. Any of the guys at school who would ask me out would now have to be measured against Cole Whitehurst, and I knew without a doubt they’d come up short.
And maybe I’d already held him in mind. My basis for comparison for every boy I encountered. No one else made me feel the way he did. Feel as much as he did. Never in my life. He lit me up. He wore me out. He made me angry and hungry and proud. Who else could do that?
But my aim was true, and my words made Cole wince. Just a little. “I wouldn’t ask you to wait for me.” His voice dipped low, making me regret my hurtful barb. “But I’m asking you to wait until you’re older before you give yourself to someone.”
Givemyself? He made me sound like… like some kind of treasure.
Like I needed to be treasured first. And I’ll be damned if he hadn’t just ensured my virginity for years to come because it wasn’t as if any of the guys at Comeaux High School would be worthy of a treasure. Cole probably knew I wouldn’t be able to open my legs for another boy without thinking about him and his request. And that made me mad and molten all at once.
He was watching me closely, but I hadn’t said a word. What could I say?“Yes, I’ll wait. Now that you’ve ruined me for anyone else”?I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. But I also wasn’t going to throw his words in his face either.
Cole leaned in and brushed his lips against mine, his weight pressing against the inseam of my jeans again, sending a stream of invisible sparks along the centerline of my body between my lips and my now-destined-to-remain-virginal lady parts.
I waited for his tongue to come inside again and join mine, but he drew back instead, leaving me breathless and aching all over again.
