Page 80 of You First
She pulled back with a jerk and gripped his collar. “Don’t.” Meredith shook her head frantically. “Don’t you dare talk like that.”
“But I want you to know just—”
“Stop.” She crushed the fabric of his shirt in her fist and thumped it against his chest. He must have heard the threat of hysteria in her voice because he closed his mouth and nodded.
“Okay…okay, Meredith.” He brought a hand to her cheek and, with his thumb, swept away the last of her tears. He stared into her eyes for what felt like an age, the light in his own full of too much certainty. And a hint of mischief. “You’re ready to fight me now, aren’t you? I’ve discovered your secrets. All I have to do to cheer you up is piss you off.”
Meredith scowled at him. “And you’re getting really good at that.”
Gray tossed back his head and laughed. It was hard not to smile at the sight, but Meredith did her best. He already knew how to read her so well. It wouldn’t do to give him any more power.
Especially when she was already powerless.
“Well, can I say this?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “Having you here is really good for me.”
Now she could smile. Short of him being healthy, that was what she wanted above anything else. For all sorts of reasons.
“Yes, you can say that.” She started to push herself up from his lap, but he kept her close.
“Wait. Don’t go yet.”
Recognizing the glint in his eye, Meredith cocked a brow at him. “Um. You have to work.”
“One kiss. Just one. It’ll inspire me.”
This time, she laughed. What would it be like to be with him? To be a part of his life? When it wasn’t in danger?
Meredith thought of the family she’d seen on St. Thomas Street that afternoon. Immediately, she pictured herself pushing Oscar’s stroller with Gray by her side, walking Juno and Vulcan. Not a care in the world. The image was as clear as glass in her mind, and if she dressed herself in a pair of hospital scrubs, she couldn’t imagine anything better.
“Okay, but this time, I’m kissing you. Not the other way around.”
“I can live with that,” he muttered as she closed the distance between them.
She planned to move quickly. One peck before sending him back to work. But he held so still as she led the kiss that the power of it all left her a little heady. She met his lips, warm and serene, and slid hers against them, learning their contours. Her hands cupped his face, and she relished the scrape of his five o’clock shadow beneath her fingertips.
When her tongue parted his lips, he hissed a ragged breath, and his fingers dug deeper into the flesh of her arms, but he didn’t move. Meredith’s heart pounded so fiercely against her breast she feared it might shake itself loose. Still sitting in his lap, she was aware of every point where their bodies touched as each spot seemed to tingle and hum. She felt him smile as she pushed past his teeth. And when her tongue entered his mouth and tangled with the heat of his, Gray made a noise somewhere between a groan and a growl. The sound echoed deep inside her.
So deep she pulled back panting.
“Okay… right… that was…” She stood and smoothed the front of her surplice top, and she caught Gray following the motions of her hands. “Time to get back to work.”
He drew in a slow inhale and sat forward. “Yeah, that’ll be easy.”
Meredith stifled a giggle as she moved toward the door, feeling like she walked a little taller and shined a little brighter.
“Meredith?”
She grabbed the doorframe and looked back.
“Will you be here tonight?”
The question carried so much, Meredith was glad for the sturdy wood of the door in her grip. Too much had happened in the course of the afternoon to process, and she hadn’t yet had time to consider her next step, but she couldn’t imagine feeling secure about his safety if she wasn’t with him.
“I-I’m not s—”
“I don’t mean…” Gray began, his eyes going wide in alarm. “…I don’t meanwith me.Just here. I want you here. It’s better when you’re here.”
The certainty in his voice made Meredith quite sure she didn’t want to be anywhere else. He may not have acted terrified at the threat every moment carried, but she could only imagine how hard he had to work to keep those fears at bay. If she made anything better — anything at all — she wanted to be there for him.
