Page 97 of You First
He watched her a moment longer. “You know how you want me to tell you if I’m not okay?”
Even through a glass screen, the penetrating look in his eyes made her breath shallow.
“Yeah?”
“I want the same. You have to tell me if you’re not okay.”
Meredith held back a sigh. Gray didn’t need to know about Jamie’s infantile behavior the night before or the fact that he hadn’t even offered to take Oscar to the doctor that morning. In fact, ever since Meredith could drive after childbirth, she’d taken their son to all of his doctor visits solo.
“I’m just tired, Gray.” And because it was true and because it echoed the words he said to her, she added, “Nothing new.”
At this, his look sharpened. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
She exhaled a gust of breath. How did he do that? How did he see past her words and into her head? Into her heart? “Nothing’s wrong,” she countered. “Besides, you have enough on your plate without trying to peek at what’s on mine.”
“Meredith.” His voice pitched lower, a sound both hard yet gentle. “Are we together?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, his question making her heart race.
“I threw a lot at you yesterday. Before that, you made it clear that the timing wasn’t right for you.” His voice lowered, growing more solemn. “So, I mean… is what we have just about me getting better? Or are we together, come what may?”
The love that wanted to make itself known almost took control of her voice.
“We are together, Gray.” Meredith swallowed a lump in her throat and tried to explain. “Finding out about your illness didn’t change what I feel. But it did change my mind about timing. Now is what matters. We’re together now, and I want us to be together later.”
She could tell by the way his eyes softened that the words made him happy, but he looked determined all the same.
“Then I get to peek at what’s on your plate.”
Meredith nodded in concession. “Okay, you have me there.”
He eyed her through the phone, growing a little impatient. “So then are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
She sighed. “It’s my living situation.” She didn’t want to make more of it than it was, but if they were truly a couple, neither one of them should hold back. “It’s time to move out, and that becomes more apparent every day.”
“Does it?” Gray asked, eyeing her with a grin.
“Yes, but don’t let it go to your head,” she teased, smiling back. “Yes, I’ll feel a lot better about seeing you if I’m living on my own, but there’s much more to it than that.”
“Like what?”
Meredith’s eyes searched the car’s ceiling as she chose her words carefully. “To be honest, Jamie and I live with this barely contained hostility between us. I think he does things just to make me miserable… and he’s really good at it.” She shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not innocent in this. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t let him get under my skin.”
Or under my clothes,she thought with a flush of shame. She pushed that thought aside and adjusted the angle of her phone.
“So,” Gray began, his voice going soft. “What are you going to do?”
“Brooke and I are looking for a place together.” It was the first time she’d shared the news with anyone, and saying it aloud made her feel a little giddy.
His eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Meredith nodded. “It’s gonna happen soon.”
“I guess I don’t have to tell you I’m glad to hear that,” he said, grinning. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
She considered the thought a moment. “If you’re well enough when we move to help with furniture and unpacking, sure.”
“I very much hope I am well enough.”
