Page 52 of Cessation
“And what makes you think me and my girl has? Bestie deal the cards,” Yani stated finally letting go of me.
We took the seats around the table with Pay and Quik fixing us a few drinks. Yani settled for juice which I found weird because she loved to have at least a buzz.
The cards were dispersed and by the end of the game, both me and Jo were walking away from the table shaking our heads. They beat the hell out of us, setting us back-to-back. They had to be cheating.
“Can I have her now?” Pay questioned.
“Yeah man. I got a bone to pick with Josiaha.” I threw him a look and he waved me off.
The night progressed and it ended with my woman laying on my chest in front of the fireplace in the bedroom. She wanted to feel direct heat instead of snuggling in the bed. The way she clung on to me had me wondering exactly what she was battling with.
“Are you going to tell me what’s happening with you or am I going to stay in the dark?”
“I’ve been thinking about us a lot lately and our future. I slipped up and told you I love you but it’s nothing I regret because I truly do. You helped with my heartbreak and for that I’m so grateful.”
“I didn’t want to see you hurting. Your tears effected me just as much as they did you. I cared for you before I even got to know you better.”
“And that’s what has me so conflicted. I don’t want to use you. I know I’m not one hundred percent over my ex and because of that I don’t want to get into a relationship yet. However, the love I developed for you is helping me see things clearly. I feel safe with you. I’m happy with you as well, but you make me nervous.”
Her security was my first and only concern. If she didn’t feel safe, then she wouldn’t be able to allow herself to breathe. I wanted her comfortable at all times. She could be herself with me in every aspect.
“I make you nervous? Ha! I’m happy to hear that. Also, I’m trying to be that?”
“Be what, Pax?”
“The thing that makes you happy.”
Next thing I know, her mouth was covering mine. Her kiss was enthusiastic and warming. She kissed me like I was what she had been missing for real.
“You make me very happy baby.” She placed her head back on my chest. “With everything that’s been transpiring between us, do you see yourself making a family with me?”
Kids were a sore spot for me. Tiana was taken from me in the blink of an eye with me waking up wishing for more time. I missed my baby girl like crazy. She was the sunshine of my life from the very first day I learned about her existence.
“I haven’t thought about kids but now that we’re discussing it, I guess I can genuinely say I wouldn’t mind having them, again. I’m not putting a rush on them though.”
“With me was the question I asked.”
“Yes beautiful, with you.”
She never responded and I was low key grateful for it. It was a topic I didn’t think I would be able to hold for quite a while. I heard heavy breathing shortly after letting me know she’d drifted off.
The conversation didn’t leave my mental so easily. I thought on her actions throughout the evening. She didn’t engage in any alcohol and her appetite was high. Plus, I noticed everything about her body, and it was indeed getting heavier.
My suspicions were what they were, plus with the discussion we had, I couldn’t help but wonder if that was her hinting at her being pregnant for me. I didn’t want to assume but I was almost certain my baby was carrying my seed. Besides, I hadn’t stopped coating her walls since she allowed me inside. I guess I would have to wait until she gave me the news officially.
&
It was about that time for my mother to celebrate her birthday. We were days away from the occasion and Yani’s dress had been sent off with the invitation attached. The only reason I was back in the mall today was due to the call I got from Ms. Gracy stating the set Yani had her whip up was ready.
“There was a time I would’ve been out here pulling ‘em left and right. A nigga done got old man.”
“I’m proud of you bro. You and Dawn look good together.”
“Yeah man. That’s my baby. I see her and Yani are two peas in a pod.”
“You can’t tell them shit when they’re together. They adore each other though. Yani done told me one too many stories about them.”
I opted out of telling him the vibes and looks I picked up on during game night. They were cordial more than anything. Something was going down between them two.
