Page 20 of Cessation
She headed my way and intertwined her hand with mine and softly said, “I’m ready.”
Without another word, she ushered me to her whip. I didn’t say a thing as I extended my hand gesturing for her keys. She gave them up willingly and took to the passenger side. She was quiet as a mouse. I pulled my cell out as I got into the driver’sseat and shot a text to Josiaha for him to come and grab my shit. The game would be ending shortly, and my car would be the only one in the parking lot soon.
There was a bar on the west side of town where I used to go and drown out the world for hours on hours. No one would bother her there. It was approximately fifteen, twenty minutes away from the stadium since that stadium was smack dead in the center of the city.
Her aura had changed. Life had seemed to throw a gray cloud her way and it was hovering. I wasn’t one to judge so I was going to let her drink and vent if that was all she wanted to do.
I headed for the bar, stealing glances every few minutes and what I saw I didn’t like. She sat quietly letting tears run down her face. I was perplexed on what could have happened within the last few weeks that could cause such grave pain.
The only thing I could think of was heartbreak or death. Those two alone were the definition of excruciating pain that no other person could ever imagine. Everyone would have their own experience but no one person could ever truly feel the pain of someone else. I learned that when I lost my fiancé and child in a car accident. I had dealt with both at the same time and almost threw myself over the edge behind it.
Tonight, I would be her ear, therapist, confidant, or whatever else she needed. No one was that for me during my time of need so as long as she would allow it, I was staying. I knew how it felt to want to be alone but also just want a person there. Not even giving advice per se but just being there. It said a lot.
The drive was quiet besides her sniffling and occasionally blowing her nose. When we arrived, she didn’t even question it. I believe she caught my drift and knew what time it was. I parked then rounded the car to let her out as well. She went to reach for her purse when I stopped her.
“You won’t be needing that. I got you.”
She placed her phone inside and proceeded to put it behind her seat in the floor. She then placed her hand in my extended one and exited the vehicle.
We stayed locked hand in hand as we entered the establishment. No one looked our way except the bar tender who had become a dear friend over the years. I stopped so that we could order.
“Let her know what you’re drinking beautiful.”
“A bottle of 42 if you have it.”
I looked her way quickly. That was my go-to when I first started drowning out the world. I had so much pain on my back that I couldn’t walk or breathe. Forty-two seemed to give me the courage and strength to do so. She was experiencing something that wasn’t going to leave easily.
Beatrice looked at me with a raised eyebrow and I softly nodded.
“Make that two.” I pulled out my card and paid for the bottles.
She handed them over and we headed for the booth in the back. The bar was dimly lit so she was able to relax and unwind at will. Once we sat down, she popped the top and poured up a double shot. She did that repeatedly before sitting there and staring out into the room. She had a lot on her mind.
I joined her by taking a few shots of my own. She wasn’t ready to speak so I grabbed the deck of cards off the table across from us and began to deal out a hand for Tunk. She said nothing as she picked up her hand and joined me. The game went on for a while before she finally found her voice.
“Why do people hurt the ones that care for them the most?”
Yani was going through heartbreak. She wasn’t alright by a longshot. Sometimes heartbreak could make you feel like your world was ending. It all depended on the level of attachment.
“That is something no one will ever have an answer to. People do things off impulse and chaos is created afterward.”
She didn’t respond, instead she shook her head and took another shot. I hated that she was experiencing such pain. She was entirely too beautiful to have someone play on her top like that.
“People ask for all these things and then when they get them, they use and abuse the person giving it to them. Like why not just leave and spare the heartache.”
“People get attached so it becomes hard to admit to their mistakes. As crazy as it may sound, Jody was right about one thing. You tell the truth to the people who’s feelings don’t matter and lie to the one’s who do to keep them from hurting. It’s not right but no one wants to lose their most valuable player.”
“Paxton that makes no sense. For one, we are grown and yes, we change but damn, if you know you plan on doing a bitch wrong then get the fuck on.”
Her frustration was seeping through, and the tears started up again. I wanted to take all her pain and carry it on my shoulders all so she could have some peace. Yani gave off such a genuine spirit that I knew whoever did her wrong was going to hate it when she moved on.
“Yani, what happened?” I asked the million-dollar question that was floating over her head.
“That ongoing relationship ended, and I am carrying around a broken heart Paxton. I put my trust in a man and got played like a fuckin’ fool. Do you know how much of me I gave all for him to treat the next woman with more respect than me? It hurts, Paxton, knowing that I wasn’t enough for him. I match people for a living, yet I was getting mistreated by a man that I’ve built a family with. Ten years… he could’ve spared me this heartbreak!”
She spoke and the man in me wanted to relieve her of her pain and suffering. I wanted to be the reason for her smiles. Whoever had her, lost out because she wasn’t going back. Not if I could help it.
Another shot was thrown back and from then on, we kept quiet and let the alcohol run its course. There was a hotel a few doors down so if getting fucked up was what she wanted to do, then I was with it.
