Page 99 of One Last Thing
I was so cross with him the whole night and when I woke up yesterday, it hadn’t ebbed. I then couldn’t stop thinking about the misery he must have suffered. How guilty he must have felt and how stressful it must have been to construct so many lies to hide your true self away all that time. Had Mum been miserable too all this time? Had she suffered to protect Dad and to shield me, too? Did I mean so little to her that she was able to be like, ‘You know what Henry, it’s cool, I’ll take one for the team here, let Megan blame me for everything and I’ll just take a step back from parenting duties, it’s not like we’re that close anyway’? I don’t want to think that it went like that, not after everything she and I have been through the past week, but I can’t seem to understand another way.
I knew she’d be looking for me yesterday, but I didn’t want to see her. Not yet. I was trying to collect myself and I knew that if I spoke to Mum, I’d fall apart. And I don’t want to fall apart. This year has seen too much of that and I’m scared if it keeps happening I won’t be able to come back together again.
Everyone closest to me has lied to me.I don’t know where I go from here.
The door opens and Nico comes in holding a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and a plate with a fresh croissant on it in the other. Sitting cross-legged on his bed in his T-shirt where he left me, I smile gratefully at him as he passes me the mug.
‘How are you feeling?’ he asks, balancing the plate on top of the sheets.
‘I’m fine,’ I lie, but you know, it’s what you say.
‘Did you get some sleep last night?’
‘More than the night before. Thanks for letting me stay here, Nico.’
He shrugs. ‘You can always stay here.’
‘How’s everything downstairs?’
‘Quiet. A lot of the guests who were here for the festival have left now.’
I nod, taking a sip of coffee. ‘Did you see my mum?’
‘No,’ he says gently. ‘She left for the airport already.’
Lowering my eyes, I grasp my mug tightly in my hands. He glances over at the box of ashes and the letter he returned with after bumping into her yesterday in reception. He told me she’d been waiting for me there. I felt a stab of guilt that I hadn’t shown up when it was meant to be the day we scattered the ashes, but I couldn’t say goodbye to Dad when I still had too many questions to ask him. Not that he’s able to answer them. Even seeing my mum’s name written in his handwriting across the envelope makes me too upset to speak. I feel that I can’t send him off when I’m angry at him, but I worry now that the anger will always linger. And then I get evenmoreangry at him for doing this to me.
My phone vibrates on the bedside table making me jump.
I groan at the sight of my boss’s name, but I have to pick up because he already tried calling me twice yesterday and I ignored him. Reluctantly reaching over to pick it up, I answer.
‘Hi, Cameron,’ I say downcast, too tired to be perky.
‘Fucking finally,’ he huffs. ‘When do you not answer your phone?’
‘Sorry, I’m still in France and—’
‘Look, you have a meeting in fifteen minutes with the panel of partners who’ve made a decision on your position,’ he cuts in impatiently. ‘The Zoom link is in your inbox.’
‘W-what?’ I stammer, confused, pulling the phone from my ear to check the time. ‘I thought they’d come to a decision next week.’
‘It’s been made earlier than planned. I have to go, this prick from the Hong Kong office is doing my fucking head in. Just be online in fifteen minutes. And you’re back today, right?’
‘Actually, I—’
‘You’ve got a lot of catching up to do, Megan, and if I’m honest, a bit of explaining to do, too. You’ve really dropped the fucking ball here and your client has decided to come to me since they’re not getting any responses from you. Do you think I have time to sort out your messes, too? Get it together. I’m not saying anything butifyou’re made partner it’s based on your past performance, right, not the one you’ve been giving the last few days.’
‘Cameron, I’ve been here because my dad—’
‘Shit, he’s calling me again. Right, see you on the call in fifteen.’
He hangs up.
‘What was that?’ Nico asks, frowning.
‘It was my boss calling to say I have to be on a meeting in fifteen minutes. You know that interview I mentioned about becoming a partner? The panel have made a decision.’
‘Oh. Wow.’ He does his best to read what I’m feeling from my expression but I wish him luck because I’m not sure how I’m feeling myself. ‘That sounds like good news.’
