Page 80 of One Last Thing
‘That’s not what I’m saying and you know it,’ I state, my voice hardened again as he tries to twist things. ‘I want a bit of a change. That’s not unusual.’
‘They give us such a good rate because we’re friends. There’s the beach on the doorstep, amazing weather, delicious food and wine, boat days, things to do for Megan, and she gets to see Nico, who I believe she’s forming a bond with.’
‘Don’t make this about Megan. If we talk to her, I think she’d love the chance to go somewhere else. Portugal or Greece. Or we could go further afield.’
My mood lifts now as I speak about possibilities, hoping my excitement might spark something curious in him, too. Like me, he might consider how good it would be for us to go to a place we’ve never been before, somewhere different that has the potential to bring out a bit of spontaneity and fun in us, somewhere where we’d make wonderful memories with Megan, but also where we might find time for ourselves.
God knows our marriage needs a bit of a boost.
We’ve been getting on each other’s nerves for the past few years. I’ve tried addressing it in different ways, but each attempt has been rebuffed by a husband who refuses to admit that something might be wrong. I blame that on his upbringing. His parents were wealthy and proper, the sort committed to tradition and a stiff-upper-lip mentality. A well-respected Christian family, they were committed to putting on a front, even when times were difficult, and no one could threaten that. Henry and his two older brothers grew up in that knowledge. Henry has never stopped craving the approval of his father, even if it made him miserable to do so. There are times when I admire Henry’s lack ofemotion, his ability to lock it all up somewhere and go about his day, but sometimes it kills me. He may be content pottering through life, but I’m not. We don’t have to go stale and end up as old friends with nothing more, which is how we’ve been acting. We can fight to find what we’ve lost.
‘How about South Africa?’ I continue, on a roll now. ‘I’ve heard great things about—’
‘No, we’re going to France,’ Henry says sternly. ‘I won’t let them down.’
‘Let who down?’ I cry in exasperation. ‘Françoise and Mathieu?’
‘Yes, I won’t cancel on them.’
‘We’re not cancelling when we haven’t booked yet,’ I point out, but then I read his tense expression and add wearily, ‘Oh. You’ve already booked, haven’t you.’
‘I assumed we were all on the same page.’
‘I’ve said so many times I wanted to try somewhere else.’ I run my fingers through my hair. ‘You make these sorts of family decisions without me.’
‘Megan wants to go, too. I checked.’
I press my lips together. ‘Of course she agreed with you. She’s always on your side because you’re never the bad guy. The two of you like to gang up on me.’
‘Don’t say things you’ll regret, Dawn,’ he scolds impatiently.
‘Me and you, we’re supposed to be a team.’
‘We are a team and the three of us love it at the chateau.’
‘Youlove it there,’ I seethe, hating when he speaks for me. ‘You love it so much, I wonder why you don’t move there to that bloody dream house.’
‘I would if I could!’ he snaps back.
I glower at him. ‘What’s stopping you?’
His expression softens and the real him reappears, the calm, kind one. He’s always the first to calm after an argument. My temper takes longer to cool.
‘My family, who are everything,’ he says, looking me in the eye. ‘Please, let’s not do this. It’s ridiculous. We’re arguing over where we’re going onholidayfor Christ’s sake. This is not a real problem, Dawn. Let’s take a breather and discuss it later.’
Picking up my glass, I take a sip and lower it again, too irritated to speak.
Henry nods, then turns to leave the room.
He stops in the doorway and says over his shoulder, ‘You’ll love it once you’re there, you always do’, and then he disappears.
We don’t discuss it later. We never do. The decision’s been made.
27
MEGAN
The beach at Collioure is crowded with people as we near the start of the traditional water games. It’s cloudy today but warm, the sun sneaking through when it can. The atmosphere in the town is jubilant with street performers and upbeat music, and a fizz of excitement in the air that comes about when a community spills out into the streets to celebrate together. This morning, I couldn’t wait to be a part of it, excited for a day of wandering the stalls for yummy food, watching the traditional dancers in the square and cheering on the locals bonkers enough to take part in the silliness of the water games.
