Page 69 of One Last Thing
‘Most of the time, no,’ I say earnestly, shaking my head. ‘But sometimes I have bad days and the darkness creeps in. In fact, I have another confession.’
‘God, what now?’ She groans.
‘The day of your engagement party I had a bad day,’ I say, turning to look at her. ‘Henry had to come and lift me up both physically and mentally. The diagnosis still felt raw and I wasstruggling. Not handling it particularly well. I’m ashamed to say I couldn’t face you seeing me like that. I couldn’t bear it. And I’m very sorry I wasn’t there for you that day.’
My voice cracks on the last sentence.
Megan tears her eyes from mine to stare straight ahead.
‘It doesn’t matter now,’ she says.
I turn away to stare straight ahead, too, both of us sitting parallel, poor Laurence steering us expertly through the skies without an appreciative audience.
‘You should tell Jemma,’ Megan says. ‘She’s your best friend.’
‘I know. The problem is I know how she’ll react. She’ll be so caring and lovely about it, and I can’t bear the idea of being pitied.’
‘She deserves to know,’ Megan emphasises. She pauses and then adds, ‘I get it, though. I feel like ever since the wedding was called off, I have to work harder at making sure that I come across as fine to my friends, especially Marisa. If I crack even for a second, then I know how she would see me, which is the person I really am: the pathetic, duped and foolish singleton who gets cheated on and cancels her wedding and cries whenever a friend WhatsApps a photo of a baby scan to announce their news, no matter how happy I am for them. And I really am happy for them.’
I feel winded with sadness and don’t dare look at her.
‘I know it’s not fair on Marisa because she’d be so hurt if she knew I wasn’t telling her exactly how . . . fucking hopeless I feel a lot of the time,’ Megan continues brazenly. ‘But Ineed her and my other friends to think I’m okay. Then I get to convince myself that I’m getting something right. At least I look like I . . .’
She trails off.
‘Like you’ve got it together?’ I suggest.
‘Exactly.’
‘Hm.’
She waits a beat. ‘Mum, I’m sorry you had to go to your treatments alone.’
Her voice is so soft and vulnerable, I don’t know the best way to respond. I tentatively reach for her hand and she lets me take it. Her fingers are so cold. I squeeze them. We sit like that for a while in silence, the noise of the world so far below.
‘Megan?’ I say eventually.
‘Yes?’
‘Did you say you got cheated on?’
‘Yeah,’ she says, weary and defeated. ‘I did.’
23
MEGAN
2026: Five months ago
‘Everything is so trendy north of the river,’ Lucia says, clearly uncomfortable on the stool she’s perching on. ‘Who are they catering for here, meerkats? Why don’t the bars here have normal seats for human people who like to sit back in their chairs?’
‘I think some bars in south London are also guilty of that to be fair,’ Dominic points out, amused at Lucia’s disapproving facial expressions.
‘God, have you seen that girl all over Freddie?’ Carey says in a low voice, nodding her head towards the bar. ‘I hope he’s not taken in bythat.’
I swivel to follow her eyeline over my shoulder and see Freddie chatting to a pretty red-head who looks about a decade younger than all of us.
‘Jealous?’ Lucia challenges, smirking at Carey, who recoils.
