Page 58 of CHOICE Lover
“But if I hadn’t wanted you to get the scans, or if I had better security—”
“Let me stop you there.” He blinks, but she presses forward. “If I hadn’t done the scans, I wouldn’t have known about my cancer risk and gotten it taken care of. You were right. They needed to be done.”
“I could have brought you somewhere else—”
“Why would you do that when you have the equipment in your lab? I can see you’re eager to shoulder the blame, but everything isn’t a result of your choices. You aren’t God, or Zorg, or whatever. Sometimes things just happen. Believe me, I’ve waded through enough bullshitlife stuff where I tried to figure out the whys, only to discover that sometimes no matter what we do, we can’t control everything.”
He swallows, and there is such static in the moment that she thinks he’s about to tell her something important. Maybe about Jerme? Instead, he says, “There’s another immersion chamber for the ocean, but it’s from somewhere warmer. The Caribbean, I think. There’s also one where you can take a nature walk on the bank of a river.”
Typically, whatever she’s thinking pops right out of her mouth without a second thought, but now she’s terrified of saying the wrong thing. He’s drawn to water for its therapeutic benefits, which he clearly needs. She has to approach this carefully. “I like water too,” she says, and instantly realizes how stupid that sounds.
As if he senses what she’s doing, he says, “There is no need to coddle me, Electra. I’m not a child.”
She huffs, only half agitated. Itwasa stupid thing to say, and they’re quite the pair if she considers it. “Okay, I’ll try again. I find water soothing, but you clearly do too.”
“What makes you say that?” he asks, sighing as if it pains him to ask.
“All of your favorite particle pane settings are of water scenes.”
He lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you noticed.”
“Well, I did. Sowhydo you like water? What about it draws you to it?”
“You’re prying again,Dear Electra. I’m not writing to your advice column—”
“Which is a great idea!” she interjects.
“Which I don’t want to forbid, but would strongly encourage you to reconsider,” he says, frowning.
Now is probably not the time to retrace the argument. “Well, I won’t apologize for asking you about why you’re drawn to water, which you still haven’t replied to, by the way.”
Long moments drift by as they sit on the dock, staring at the scene before them, Electra patiently waiting for him to speak. His expression has become serene. Is he really that opposed to talking about why he likes water?
She clears her throat. “I can start making up crazy guesses in my head, like how right now you’re fantasizing about filling glass after glass of muddy lake water to the brim and chugging it. Or maybe you’ve always dreamed of going skinny dipping, and you think now’s your chance. You’re just trying to work up the nerve to tell me.”
“If you tell me all your crazy hypotheses, they aren’t in your head.” His hint of a grin has turned into the full thing. He’s so appealing to look at . . . it’s unfair.
She rolls her eyes, nudging him playfully. “Sometimes I can’t tell if you’re socially challenged or just being difficult.”
“I’m not difficult. If either of us is difficult, it’s you.”
“So, are you going to tell me?” she presses.
“Zephyr, woman. You can’t let things go, can you?”
“No, it’s a life skill I’m rather proud of. You were saying . . . about water.” She grins back, grateful for the lighthearted moment. During the robbery when the man had the gun to her temple, she was so scared, she thought she might faint. She’d never been that afraid in her life. She’s surprised her wobbly knees kept her upright. Afterward, her nerves were firing, keeping her going, but now that the adrenaline has dissipated, she feels like lying back on the dock and never moving again. Their banter is the only thing giving her energy right now, and she’s eager for it to continue.
A dozen feet in front of them, a large brown fish launches itself into the air with a splash, flops as it hangs for a second, and crashes back into the water, spraying them both. She covers her gaping mouth, pointing to where the fish landed. “Oh my God. Tell me that wasn’t real.”
“That wasn’t real,” he obliges.
“But it looked so real!” she squeals. “Okay, that’s why you like water. I get it. You keep hoping that one day the fish will become real and swim over and offer to be your friend.” She bumps her head against his shoulder. “That’s so sweet.”
“Of all the people I might have accidentally brought back, why did it have to be the craziest one?” Res6 tilts his head to the ceiling—or sky, according to the artificial image Electra’s seeing. Then his broad shoulders slump, defeated. “I like the water because it makes me feel at peace. I think it’s the sounds, though I like to watch it move. The pattern of ripples or the rhythm of waves. Something about it calms me.”
She nods, biting back every therapy statistic anddid you knowthat’s filtering into her mind. “That makes perfect sense. In San Francisco, where I lived, the water was very cold, but in the summer, the bite was refreshing. You couldn’t stay in long, though. If it was sunny, it helped. The sun felt like a warm hug on your skin. Oh, and the water was so salty. Sometimes we would see seals swimming through the kelp forest, splashing in the surf. Occasionally we’d even see whales or big sharks, which was cool.”
She’s unsure why she’s telling him this, but his contemplative expression urges her to keep going.
