Page 68 of The Rat King
“But—”
“It doesn’t matter.” He waved me off and walked out the door. It shut with a click, and I took a testing step. He’d released me. When I opened the door and stuck my head out into the hallway, he was gone.
It was all I could do to make it to the bed, and crawl inside its warmth. How did I end up here? When the curse was broken, I felt betrayed, shocked, but had that really been heartbreak? And if it was, what was this? The thing inside my chest which kept relentlessly beating was a charred heap, raw, and tore open with each thud. It had taken trying to run away to make me realize I’d been wrong to keep pushing him away. To understand what he’d done, and that he loved me. Too late because I didn’t see how we could recover from this. I didn’t see what I could do to melt the thick enamel which now encased his shattered heart.
And like I’d wanted, he planned to send me back. A sob gurgled up, and I tried to swallow it down. I really did, but another followed it too closely they both spilled out, followed by an onslaught. Finally, I realized I landed exactly where I needed to be, with the man I loved, who loved me back, and in the position I’d desired and the wish I’d been asking on and off for the better part of a year would be coming true soon. I couldn’t leave him. I had to do something to convince him I saw how wrong I’d been.
The bed felt like it could suck me into its depths, like my hopelessness swallowing me whole. I lay there drifting in and out of sleep, tears ever present, but always waiting for him to come. He’d never left me to suffer alone before, but part of me knew this time it was different. He wasn’t coming.
Chapter 48
Avery
Iawokewithsteadfastdetermination. I would not let him send me back. I threw the covers off even before any attendants roused me and opened the curtains. Somewhere in all of my wallowing clarity had struck. I was a queen. I had a responsibility to my people, and I had a husband who desperately needed me. Who loved me. We had hurt each other, and I found a way to get over the sting of his betrayal. He would do the same in time. And until then, I would put my acting skills to work and play the role of a badass queen. At least the place was clean now, so I was already one step ahead.
The door creaked on its hinges and April’s familiar face popped in. I grinned at her broadly. I didn’t know if she knew what transpired between me and the king. Actually, who was I kidding? I was sure everyone knew about our entry spectacle. But I didn’t give a flying fuck.
“April,” I said, striding over to her and taking her hands in mind. “It is so lovely to see you. I was in need of a familiar face, and we have work to do.”
She stepped back, blinking, and followed me into the bathroom.
Alice came in shortly after her and in an hour my girls had me cleaned, dressed, and I had even allowed them to apply a selection of makeup from this plane to my face. I assessed myself in the mirror. Aside from my puffy bloodshot eyes, I looked damn good.
The first order of business would be to redecorate this room, if this is where I was going to stay, and it was for the time being because I would not let Nighval send me back to the palace. Eventually I expected we would share the same room, but I knew forgiving me would take time. In the meantime, this would be a beautiful space for me to live in and then a guest room one day. Or perhaps a nursery.
I surveyed the room. “April, Alice,” I called. They both scurried out of the bathroom at my request. Curiosity danced in April’s eyes, while the timid Alice wrung her hands at her waist.
“I want these curtains removed and replaced immediately. The inner curtain should be shear and cream, the outer lilac velvet floor-to-ceiling.” I turned to the bed and the large rug that lay beneath it. “Get rid of that rug. I want six to ten samples of floral rugs and shades of cream and other pastels. Same with the bedding, but that should be all cream and in varying textures. Bring a selection of throw pillows.”
“But His Majesty said that you would be returning to the palace today,” April said, voice cracking.
“His Majesty is mistaken,” I said, and gave them another more forceful smile that let them know I was, in fact, the boss.
“And what of the furniture, Your Majesty?” Alice asked.
“Leviticus owes me quite a few favors, assuming His Majesty hasn’t gutted him.” I looked at the women who appeared taken aback. “He is still here, is he not?”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” April replied. “I believe he and the other advisors are meeting in the council room with the king this hour.”
“Perfect,” I said, and without another word, strode from the room.
While I was absolutely confident and determined to go through with my mission. The room I walked into gave me pause. It didn't matter how I felt, though. I was channeling a badass queen.
There were no empty seats at the table which held twelve men, including my husband.Typical. Nighval’s eyes tracked me as I entered. Mine passed him, landing on Leviticus. This man had watched me kneel in blood and was prepared to watch my head get lopped off after telling me I deserved worse. When they had caught me trying to escape after I had accidentally murdered Xavier, he hadn't flinched before throwing me in prison, so I would not flinch now. I understood he’d reacted as any advisor to amurderedking would, yet my grudge toward him held firm, and I wasn’t going to bypass my desire to assert my authority.
Holding my chin high, I walked over to him and addressed him directly. “Get up,” I said, and the room went silent.
“Pardon?” he said, as if he didn’t hear me. His muddy brown eyes widened as he took me in. I had the girls weave the crown into a braid at the top of my head so there would be no question about my authority. The lower half of my hair hung and loose waves down my back. I wore a demurrer cream dress that had long fitted sleeves, a scoop neck and hugged my figure, flaring slightly at my lower hips. It swished with its own command as I walked.
“I didn’t stutter.” I gave him a wicked grin. He glanced between me and Nighval. My husband only raised a single brow as if this entertained him and he didn’t remove his eyes from me.
Leviticus shuffled to his feet, holding the chair out for me. “Of course, Your Majesty. I’ll send for another chair.”
I took the seat to the right of my husband offered to me by the cowering man, who would now become my errand boy. “No need. I have some tasks for you.”
“Your Majesty?” he asked, shuffling between his feet as his voice cracked.
“I'm sure you remember whenever you offered me your services. I know a lot had happened since then, but I imagine the offer still stands?” I asked, piercing him with my gaze. I would have melted him if I could. This humiliation would be sufficient, however.
