Page 42 of The Rat King
“What makes you say that?” she asked.
“The night of your wedding to Xavier, I killed twenty-two people.” She gasped, and I could feel her body stiffen in my arms. I chuckled. “Like you, I believed they all deserved it. I found a den of vipers, and I took out my frustration on them.”
“And what frustrated you so intensely that you became murderous?” she asked.
Shit. That little slip revealed too much. Or perhaps it hadn’t, and this was an opportunity. “I was jealous of my brother. When I saw you, I wanted you for myself. Does that make me a monster?”
I wondered if my admission would turn her away. She would be my wife, that much I’d determined, and it was best she knew the man she was marrying. In the last week, I’d given up the idea of becoming someone else to please her.
Still, Avery was stiff and quiet for long moments “When did you see me, because I don’t remember seeing you there?”
My heart jumped into my throat. This was the first admission I’d given her about the depth of my interest, and I was learning I cared deeply what her response would be. “I left before you saw me,” I lied.Do you think I’m a monster? Answer the question.I had to know.
“Oh.” She paused, then her words were thoughtful when she said, “No, I don’t think that makes you a monster.”
I breathed a slow, relieved exhale. And like she understood the momentary torment I felt, she put a hand on mine, which was still wrapped around her waist and squeezed. “Or if that makes you a monster, then I guess we both can be monsters together,” she said.
Her words, as lighthearted as she intended them, made my stomach swirl with excitement. I wasn’t used to a woman making me feel this way. Making me feel so lost in every conversation. So eager to hear the next thing that came out of her mouth. What was happening to me? Had my brother felt this way, and that’s why he’d pressured her, attacked her? Could he not tell as he touched her, she was repulsed by him? Reading a woman’s body language wasn’t that difficult. Instead of yielding to her lack of desire, he’d hurt her.
The thought made violence splash across my vision. I meant what I said. If she hadn’t done it, I would have. What he did, what he attempted, was reprehensible. And I wouldn’t have hesitated. That was the type of monster I was. No trial, no last words. No regard for our history, our sibling relationship, or whatever situation he found himself in. He would have been dead. Simple and final.
Avery let out what sounded like a squeak, and I realized I cinched my arm around her too tight in my haze of thoughts. “Sorry,” I said.
“That’s okay. I get the impression you don’t realize how strong you are,” she said in a voice that was dripping with honey.
Goddess, how did she know exactly how to make me feel like this? Like a man, primal and protective. Possessive. One and a half weeks in, I reminded myself. Simmer down.
“It makes me feel good that you can talk to me. I enjoy hearing your thoughts,” I told her.
Her fingers threaded through mine. “It is all very strange, and sudden, but I feel the same way,” she said, and I almost toppled off Eclipse.
Like the animal sensed my shift, he whinnied, and I noticed the town we were headed for coming into view. We only had a few days left on our journey and it was time to up the stakes. “Not much longer.” Knowing full well I was a devious asshole, I said, “I hope we’re early enough the inn will have ample accommodations.”
Like I planned it, the inn had one room with a medium-sized bed. As we stepped into it, her eyes widened. I thanked the Goddess for the patience she’d gifted me. Making the decision not to whisk us away to the palace was going to pay off tonight. And not for the part of my body that was on high alert every time she looked at me. No… for the future I would build with her. That first night, she’d been helpless in my arms due to her desperate state. Now she would learn their comfort. Learn to lean into me and show me her vulnerability as a choice.
I almost had to frown to prevent my lips from twitching upward as she shrugged, picked up her pack and began her nightly routine, where she removed all of that magical makeup to reveal the clean and innocent face beneath. I loved her in her paint, but I lived for these moments in the same aching way. I had to clear the lump from my throat.
“I’ll go find us some food. Make yourself comfortable.” Then I retreated from the room.
Chapter 30
Avery
Somehow,Iknewwithall my flirty comments I’d asked for this, and the Goddess had answered me. Of course, there would only be one bed at this inn. It’s not like we hadn’t slept in the same bed before. So, of course, I was going to offer him a side of the bed. My best guess was he was not going to stay on his side of it. Something about the thought made flowers bloom in my stomach like one of those time-lapse videos, where you can see the full evolution of the plant, petals unfurling for the sun.
It was too convenient, almost like he planned it. I glanced over at him before he walked out of the room and the corner of his lip definitely twitched. Yep, he planned it. He knew there was going to only be one bed, just like there was only one horse. I was beginning to suspect this ominous yet gentle man who saved me had a strategy, and he was taking all the steps to execute it.
On one hand, there was something about the way he approached pursuing me that made me feel hunted, like a prized animal. He was taking his time, watching, stalking, going through the steps with a clear result in mind. Tonight, it seemed like he had lined up a shot and was going to take it. But it had only been a little over a week and a half and while, yes, I was curious, a little on edge and regularly excited in his presence, tonight he was going to miss. He could woo me a little longer before he scored.
The question remained, was any of this real or was I a means to an end? The attraction was mutual, but love elevated the stakes. What if he didn’t want me when this was all over, and why did I care? As long as it broke the curse, at least something positive would have come from me being here. Never mind the damage to my heart. I pondered the thought as I removed my makeup and fished around in my backpack for something decent to wear to bed. The last thing I needed to do was wear what I normally wore to sleep, which was nothing. I slipped out of my workout outfit, peeled off my sports bra and slid into the boy shorts and tank top I selected. I was searching the room for a robe or at least a throw blanket when footsteps sounded in the hall.
Right on time, like he did every night, Nighval arrived, followed by a server carrying a full tray of food. I didn’t know why we never ate in the common room with the other guests. Usually, we arrived late and left early, which was why I figured he preferred to eat in our room. Or perhaps it was just more time that he had alone with me, and this was a part of his plan.
“Thank you for your assistance,” he said to the server as he handed her a few extra coins. He’d been doing that since I scolded him. I had to give him credit. He listened. But I didn’t know what motivated him. That I had told him I worked in a similar position or the fact that he understood what I had been saying. Or even that his actions displeased me, and I got the impression that he wanted all of them to please me. But that’s how Xavier had been. Willing to do anything to get me to fall for him. Not only had I not been attracted to him, but something about that eagerness was also a turnoff.
Nighval was different, though. Everything about him was calculating and designed. Like he was hyper aware of every move he made, everything he said. Like how he quickly corrected himself when he thought he offended me when we were talking earlier. Who did that? Who was that self-aware? I supposed a man who had been king for as long as he had before he was exiled would have developed that skill.
The word king, when I thought about it in the context of him, did him justice. And the mere idea coupled with the way he was stalking around the room gave me tingles in places I really shouldn’t have tingles considering we were about to be sharing a bed. He hadn’t cast his eyes in my direction yet since he’d gotten back, and I hadn’t found a robe. I crossed the room, figuring I would just use his cloak and scoot my chair closer to the fire, when a warm sensation traced across the curve of my neck, down my spine and settled onto my ass before I felt it dissipate.
