Page 118 of The Rancher Who Swore Off Love
“I love this family, Gracie.” He pressed his palm over his mouth. “I love ’em like they’re mine. And I ruined it because I’m too much of a coward to—”
“You ain’t a coward.”
Damn her for saying it; he sure didn’t deserve comfort right now. But Jonah had starved himself for her. Back in that freezing box off the Hudson, he’d given her his portion and pretended he’d already eaten, and she’dbelievedhim because the alternative meant her brother had gone hungry so she could eat.
“You’re a lot of things, Jonah Linton. A liar and a thief and a damn fool, but you ain’t a coward.”
“Tell that to your husband.”
Logan.
The name dropped through her chest like a stone into a well, and it just kept dropping. Down through her ribs and her belly and the backs of her knees, and she sat down on the ground because her legs had given up on the project of holding her upright.
Logan’s face when he said, ‘You knew.’ That flatness. Like somebody had taken a rag and wiped everything off—thewarmth, the humor, the way his eyes creased at the corners when she made him laugh, all of it—just gone. Blank as a chalkboard after the teacher’s done.
“He’ll never trust me again.”
As much as she would have rather not said it, because saying it made it real, she had to.Because it’s true.
“He thinks I tricked him, Jonah. He thinks—” She wiped her face with the heel of her hand, and Miriam grabbed at the tears like they might be something edible. “He thinks the letter I wrote, the things I said about family, about holding things together—he thinks it all came from Ace.”
“I’m sorry…”
“I meant every word. I meant every goddamnword, and now he’ll never—”
“Gracie…” Jonah lowered himself down beside her. “He’ll come around. I promise.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“How?”
“Because he loves you.” Jonah smiled. “Even I can see that, and I’m thick as a brick.”
“You’re thicker than a brick.”
“Fair.”
“A brick’s got more sense.”
“Also fair.”
Grace pressed her forehead against Miriam’s and breathed in the baby’s smell, that strange, sweet musk babies had—warm milk, a little bit of drool, and under all of it, Logan’s soap, because she’d been bathing Miriam with his soap since the second week. Everything in that house smelled like Logan. The shirts, the blankets, the baby, Grace herself.
The man had soaked into every corner of her life without asking.
“You need to go.” She lifted her head. “I’ll try to change his mind, but, for now, you need to go.”
“I ain’t leavin’ you alone when you’re so—”
“I ain’t alone. I got Rafe, I got the boys, and I got Miriam. And right now, you standin’ here gives Logan one more reason to shut me out, so you need togo.”
Jonah stared at her with that look he’d had since they’d crouched behind the tenement as kids sharing a stolen apple, the one saying, “we’re all we’ve got.”
But Grace had someone else now.
“I’ll be in town.” He stood up. “At the boardin’ house on Main, if they’ll let me work for my stay. If not, I’ll—”
