Page 112 of Keep Me Safe
“Come work for Osterhägen. It’s not like you’d report to me.”
“No.” That wasn’t a remote possibility.
“All right. There are plenty of other opportunities in Munich.”
I’d been right. I knew exactly where this conversation was going. “I don’t speak German.”
“You could learn.”
My eyes narrowed to slits.No.This had been my fear from the beginning, that I would lose myself in him. Bend my desires to match his. “I’m not going to Munich.”
“How do you see it working, then?” At that moment, he picked up on the fact that I’d said ‘going’ and not ‘moving.’ His rich, brown eyes blinked slowly. “What are you saying?”
My voice trembled. “I’m saying I can’t go back to where he...”
I was swept up into his embrace, where he tried to comfort and make me feel safe. “We don’t have to leave tomorrow. We can give it time.”
But he needed to get back, and we both knew it. Plus, the kind of time he was talking about wasn’t adequate. One or two more days wouldn’t make a dent. I had to be honest with him.
“I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to go back.” It hung in the air for an impossibly long time. So long, I wondered if he was all right.
“That’s . . . unacceptable.” His voice wasn’t cold, but the words were.
The sadness I had was replaced with annoyance that if left unchecked would grow into anger. “I’m sorry?”
“The idea of us apart. I find that unacceptable. You tell me what you want, and I will make it happen.”
But what I wanted wasn’t possible, unless he could go back in time, and if he did, how would we have ever met? We were from separate worlds. I came from a poor family in a town that was so small, it didn’t have stoplights. He was from the bustling city of Munich, born into unbelievable wealth.
“I tried living overseas,” I said, “but I was miserable. This last year, before I met you? It was the worst of my life, even worse than Paul.” My body shook from the raw emotion coursing through me. “I can’t do it.”
“You didn’t know a soul and didn’t speak the language. Of course you were miserable.” He stroked a hand over my hair and cupped my face. “It will be different. Jason and L are there. I’m there.” He kissed me, and all I could taste was the subtle drug of his persuasion.
“Please don’t make me.”
He froze. “Make you?”
“We both know you could.”
His face changed to an expression I couldn’t read. “I don’t have any control over you.”
Was he truly unaware of the power he held? “Yeah, right.”
“I don’t. If I did, you never would have had a chance to take L’s place. We would have left that stupid event, and you would have been in my car and on the way to my bed when the bombs went off,” he said. “But I don’t want control. All I want is... whatever you want.”
I croaked it out. “I want to stay here.”
He took an enormous breath and the warm eyes turned dark and sad. “Very well. That’s fine.” His shoulders sagged, and itlooked like whatever he was thinking about was killing him. “I’ll resign in the morning.”
“W-What?” My knees went so weak, I almost fell over.
“I have plenty of investments. That’s where most of my money comes from. I can retire anytime.”
My heart slammed against my chest so hard, it ached. “You can’t do that.”
“What I can’t do is bring my company here. I would move my family’s whole goddamn empire to this uncultured and rude place for you. But I can’t.”
I choked back the urge to cry. “Shawn?—”
