Page 88 of Never Alone
I opened my eyes.
He was looking at me.
His pupils were wide. I could feel his breath on my mouth. I could feel my own pulse in my throat, in my hands, and in three other places I didn't have words for.
In the corner of my eye, the woman in the heavy coat turned around and walked back out the way she had come in. The bell jingled. The door swung shut.
"I think it worked," I said.
My voice came out a little rough. I couldn't help it.
"Yeah," Cole said. "It did."
He kept looking at me.
I made myself unhook my arms from the back of his neck. He took his hand off my back. Slowly. He didn't step away.
After a beat, he turned and walked across the shop toward Sean and the counter and the nails he hadn't yet paid for. I stayed where I was. I put my hand on the swatch wall and waited for the air to come back into my lungs.
We didn't speak in the truck.
We pulled out of Sean's lot, and he turned right onto West Burnett. I sat in the passenger seat and tried to think about anything else. I could still feel the kiss on my lips. The hand at my back was still on me. I could feel my own pulse where his fingers had been.
I looked over at him.
He was driving the way he drove. Both hands on the wheel. Eyes forward. The sleeves of his shirt were still pushed up from the work earlier, and his forearms looked the way I had not been letting myself notice his forearms looked for weeks. The veins. The weight of his hand on the wheel. The way his jaw moved a little, like he was thinking something through.
I didn't realize I was staring until he said, without looking, "What?"
Heat came up the back of my neck.
I pivoted.
"So you've really never been with a woman?"
He blew air out through his nose. The almost version of a laugh.
"Why does that sound so hard to believe?"
"Nothing. It's just—you're?—"
Hot,I almost said.You're hot, Cole.
I caught the word in my teeth.
"I mean, why not?"
"I don't have the patience for dating," he said. "Haven't met anyone worth the trouble."
How about me?
The thought went through me before I'd checked it. I closed my eyes for a beat. Opened them. Stared at the road ahead like the road ahead had ever told me anything I wanted to hear.
"What about casual?" I said. "You can't tell me you haven't had options."
"Sure. But casual still asks for more than I want to give."
I sat with that.
