Page 16 of Broken Silence
With that incredibly brief exchange, we fell back into silence. I wanted to reach out for him.
How the hell had I walked away from this man? It seemed impossible now that we were here.
I wrung my hands together, wishing that this was easier. What would he want me to say? I’d rehearsed a lot, but I had no clue what he was ready to hear.
We were standing in front of each other now as adults.
Shouldn’t we be able to talk to each other?
His eyes flicked over my shoulder, and he glared at something behind me. I looked around to find Jasper and Kerry peeking around the kitchen door. It was Jasper’s idea to give us some privacy, yet he was the one snooping.
Get lost!
Cole looked back at me and nodded toward the French doors leading to the back garden. I moved toward the door with my heart in my mouth, and he followed.
My hands trembled as I slid the glass to the side, and I could only hope that I’d be able to hold it together long enough to talk to him. Stepping out into the chilly evening, I took a second to glance around their back garden. It’d been redone. New patio, massive new barbecue, and a playhouse for Leona.
Swallowing a thick lump in my throat, I turned around as he closed the others out of our conversation. We were now very much alone out here.
He blew out a long breath and sat on a step leading from the patio to the grass, resting his elbows on his knees.
It was my move. I stepped down and lowered myself beside him, leaving a gap that I hated. We were closer now, his scent filled my lungs and wrapped around me like a hug. Tears filled my eyes as I realised that, despite moving halfway around the world, I hadn’t felt this safe since the last time I was with him.
Finally, he twisted his head and looked my way... and the pain in his eyes gutted me. Every cell in my body wanted me to reach out and touch him, to feel his skin against mine again.
“How long are you back for?” he asked.
That wasn’t what I thought he was going to start with.
“Um, I’m not sure.” I blinked away the stinging in my eyes. “It depends on the trial, I suppose.”
How long would the jury take to deliberate? I prayed not long.
He frowned, glancing out at something in the garden, nodding his head.
The action felt like a mean girl moment. There was a lot he wanted to say—a lot of anger and betrayal in those perfect blue eyes. I’d put that there and it killed me.
“I didn’t think you were coming back for it… for anything.”
All right, that wasn’t what I expected at first. I thought he’d kick off with asking why I stopped communicating with him.
I tapped my fingers against my legs. “I wasn’t going to at first. It scared the hell out of me, actually. But, as time went on and I opened up more in therapy, I started to feel like I could do it. Now, I need to. You know, to face them… to face my dad and have him know that I don’t fear him anymore, and I was believed.”
Cole closed his eyes and nodded.
We shouldn’t have come here first. It was stupid. I wish I’d got Mum to drop me off at Ali’s and then come alone.
“Sorry, we should have called first. I didn’t want us to meet like this. I wanted you to know we were back before you saw me. Mum did email Jenna, but your Internet’s not been working, so obviously, you didn’t get it. I’m sorry again. We should have made sure—”
“It’s fine,” he says, and his lips twitched as he fought a smile.
I was rambling and had to get myself together. There was just so much I wanted to say—so many apologies I wanted to make. Cole was everything to me for a very long time, and I didn’t know how to handle this distance and awkwardness.
Yeah… that I’d created.
Still didn’t make it any easier, though.
“Sorry, I don’t really know what I’m saying here.”
