Page 70 of Broken Silence
“Feeling okay?” he asked.
Nope.
“Oakley?”
“Yeah,” I said, sliding my gaze from the red double doors of the courtroom to him. “I’m feeling okay… brave, I think.”
“You’re the bravest person I have ever me. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
Only, he wouldn’t. On the stand, I would be alone.
But it was fine. I’d prepared for this. Linda and I had been through it multiple times. I knew what to expect.
We got out of the car and Cole jogged to my side. It was such a gorgeous day, bright sunshine, and warm temperatures. I couldn’t believe I was here, having to face my father.
“Hold on for as long as you can,” I told him as reached for my hand.
His eyes pierced through me, searching for something that my mind was too muddled to see. I didn’t know what he needed. My focus was on what I was about to do, that was all I had the capacity for.
I had to keep my voice clear, answer honestly, give my account, make some eye contact with the jury, but not too much—what was too much?—ask for a break if I needed it.
“There are reporters, Oakley, but stay close. We’ll surround you,” David said, his shoulders squaring. He patted Cole’s shoulder. “You’ve got her?”
Cole nodded at his dad, suddenly looking nervous… or sick. His face was white. Jasper’s, too. They didn’t want to do this, either.
“Don’t react in there,” Mum said to Jasper and Cole.
“Leave if we need to—I remember,” Jasper said through gritted teeth. “I’m not giving that bastard the satisfaction.”
I looked across the carpark and was shocked to see so manyreporters there, all waiting to snap a picture. My lungs deflated at the thought of being another news story.
“We’re not going through the front, remember,” David added, sensing my dread.
“Okay,” I murmured, not trusting my voice.
Shit, I don’t know if I can do this.
Yes, you can.
I forced my feet to move, and we all headed around the side of the building, unnoticed. All I’d done was walk to the damn court and my overheating body was ready to pass out.
Someone—I couldn’t remember who—held the door open, and we were inside. All I could concentrate on was walking forward. Each step was like climbing a mountain.
A corridor led towards the foyer where security officers were preventing the press from entering. I looked around at the wooden panelled walls and cold tile floor. It smelt faintly like furniture polish and fear. My fear. It was growing, morphing into a physical being. I could feel it tightening around my neck.
I leant against the window and focused on breathing, my stomach tying in knots, trying to convince me I couldn’t do this.
Ihadto do this. For the little girl inside me who was still scared and still trying to figure outwhy.
“You don’t have to do this in person,” Cole whispered in my ear. “Remember, you can still video link from here.”
“No. I’m ready.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he nodded, supporting my decision.
I thought I was ready. As much as I wanted to run away and hide from this, I was not backing down. That little girl inside me, and all the other ones, demanded to be heard. We deserved to be heard and believed.
“Where’s Linda?” I asked as metallic bile hit the back of my throat. I was going to kick myself if I threw up.
