Page 59 of Broken Silence
She took my hand and pulled me to the first stack. “Pick.”
I didn’t want to, couldn’t be bothered with this when the sale was still weeks off, but this wasn’t about me, and it wasn’t about my house.
So, I sucked it up, taking her to furniture shops and DIY stores. We had paint samples and charts. I’d chosen a brown, soft leather sofa, and a dining table.
Oakley threw herself in to all of it, wanting to organise everything weeks before I had anywhere to put it. With every shop we’d gone in, she lost a little more of that tension. The distraction hard worked.
“Are you coming in?” she asked once I parked outside Ali’s house after the longest day in history.
“Are you asking?”
“Did that sound like a question?”
“It was a question?”
With a tight jaw, she said, “Come on.”
Now she didn’t have a distraction, the stress had crept back in her eyes.
The house was empty when we got inside. Oakley read a note from Sarah, letting her know they’d all gone to her grandparents again and she could join if she wanted.
Turning to me, she asked, “Pizza?”
“You don’t want to go?”
“Pizza?” she repeated.
“Sounds good.” She tried to walk out of the living room, andI caught her hand. “Stop. I get it, you’re having a rough day, but don’t fucking shut me out, too.”
“I just want…” Averting her eyes, she pulled out of my grip.
How was she angry with me?
“To forget. Isn’t that what we’ve been doing all day? Or did that not work because no amount of pretending can cover this shit up. Fuck.” I shoved my hands through my hair as frustration coiled in my stomach. “If you’re going to push me away, I’m going home. I can’t stick around for it. You’ll know how that feels.”
Shit, I was losing control.
Her brow rose. “That was real subtle, Cole. I couldn’t stay.”
“Yeah, I know that’s what you thought.”
“No, that’s what I knew. I had to go, and you couldn’t come. I’m sorry if that didn’t fit the perfect fantasy of how we were supposed to be.”
Well, we were certainly getting down to it now. Good. It needed to be said.
“You never thought of that shit? What was I, something to pass the time?” Red hot anger, pumped through my veins. “Hey, I helped you out and showed you that you could have a normal relationship, ready for the one. Who is he, Oakley, huh? The guy in your fantasy?”
“Oh, that’s bullshit, and you know it!”
I wanted to push more, to keep going, keep pushing that wound until it split open. There was so much…so muchthat I wanted to say.
“Is it? Because that’s exactly how it felt. I told you I wanted to come, and you said no.”
She sucked in a sharp breath that sounded like pain. “You have no idea how hard that was. You think it didn’t kill me, too?”
“Then, why did you fucking do it?” I shouted, throwing myhands up as the agony of those early days resurfaced with a vengeance.
“I’ve told you why. I’m sorry if you don’t like that explanation.” She breathed heavily, her glassy, tear-filled eyes glaring into mine, and her hands clenched at her sides.
