Page 33 of Beautiful Chaos
“Your dad hates me because my zygote donor kidnapped him that one time. Which is totally fair,” I’m quick to add on. “But I wish I could tell Ronan that I’m not angry or sad that he killed Silas Blake. And it’sbecauseWimberley helped find me a family, despite everything they saw, that I try to bury this ugliness and help as many people as I possibly can.”
I’ve been looking at our joined hands this whole time, and only now do I look into Oakley’s eyes again. Tears shimmer against his eyelashes.
“Shit,” I say, pulling away from him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He wipes the moisture from his eyes. “You didn’t upset me,Sy. It just makes me sad that somebody who works so hard to be good can still think he’s evil.”
“Oakley, come on.”
His jaw sharpens, like he’s angry. “No.Youcome on. Good and evil are determined by action. You can think all the horrible thoughts in your head, but they don’t become evil until you turn those thoughts into action.”
“You want action?” I lean forward. “I was late today because I murdered the man you saw in the ‘murder room.’ I literally incinerated his remains right before I walked into your office. How’s that for action?”
Oakley’s chest expands rapidly. He drums on the table. Another deep breath. Finally, he looks me in the eyes.
“Hedy wouldn’t tell me what he did to deserve being in that room. Will you?”
I swallow hard. I don’t want him to know that people like that live in the world.
I shake my head.
He slowly raises his brows.
“What?” I ask, uncomfortable with telling him no, but wanting, somehow, to protect him.
“You’resaying he was so awful that you won’t tell me what he did?”
“Basically.”
Oak blows air out of his nose, like he’s lost patience with me. “You actively do good. Every day. You balance the books. Every. Fucking. Day. And I will make it my mission to make my fathers see what I see.”
Before I can object, he continues, “And before you try to contradict me, I’ll remind you that, of the two of us, I am the one with the advanced degree in fucked-up brains.” He laughs. “And while your brain is a masterpiece of fuckery, it is a good brain. Not an evil one.”
How can he say that when he knows what I did?
“Well, if you say so,” I joke.
“I’m not kidding you. This ends now.”
His command is a knife through the shit rolling around in my brain. He stands and circles his desk before taking me by my elbow. He urges me to stand with him and then envelops me in a hug.
His bulk is instant peace.
Oh God.
I love you so much.
The words burn on my tongue, but instead, I bury my face in his neck and hold on for dear life.
“You’re amazing, and I’m lucky to know you,” he whispers in my ear.
“Thank you,” I say, the only words I can manage that aren’tI love you so fucking much.
I let the warmth of his hug work its way through me. My eyes want to turn black, and I let them.
I know a single conversation won’t fix all the evil inside, but knowing that he sees all of it and…doesn’t fucking hate me? Doesn’t thinkAplusBequals terrible? It’s shifted something vital. Something big.
Oakley tightens our hug and the way his belly presses against mine…ahh. Heaven.
