Page 37 of Challenged By the Ex-Military Lumberjack
"So yeah," she continues. "I want something more. If you're willing to try."
I look at her, at the hope in her eyes, at the vulnerability she's showing me. At the fact that she's lying here naked in my bed, covered in sweat and my cum, asking me for more than just this moment.
And I realize I want it too.
I want to wake up with her in my bed. Want to teach her more than just how to cook eggs. Want to hear her laugh in this cabin that's been too quiet for too long. Want to see where this goes, even though it terrifies me.
"I'm not easy," I warn her. "I've got bad days. Days where I can't be around people, where I need the quiet. Days where the nightmares are bad enough that I don't sleep at all."
"Okay."
"I'm not good at talking about my feelings. I'm going to shut down sometimes, and you're going to have to push."
"I can do that."
"And I don't know how to do this. How to be in a relationship. It's been so long, and I—"
She puts a finger over my lips, silencing me.
"Eli. I'm not asking you to be perfect. I'm asking you to try." She leans down and kisses me softly. "Can you do that?"
Can I?
Can I risk this? Risk her? Risk the possibility that I might actually be happy for once?
I think about the last six years. The isolation. The loneliness I pretended I didn't feel. The conviction that I was better off alone, that everyone was safer if I kept my distance.
And then I think about the last few hours. The way she made me laugh. The way she listened when I talked about my men. The way she feels in my arms right now.
Maybe I've been wrong about everything.
"Yeah," I say finally. "I can try."
Her smile is brilliant, lighting up her whole face. "Good. Because I'm not going anywhere."
"What about your house?"
"My house can wait." She settles back down against my chest. "Right now, I just want to stay here."
"In my bed?"
"In your bed. In your arms. Wherever you'll have me."
I tighten my arm around her, pulling her closer. "I'll have you right here."
"Good. But… What happens now?" she asks.
"Now? Now we figure it out as we go."
"No plan?"
"I gave up on plans a long time ago. They never work out the way you think."
"Fair enough." She yawns, snuggling deeper into my side. "Can I stay tonight?"
I look at the window. It's late afternoon now, the sun starting to dip lower. "The road's probably clear by now."
"That's not what I asked."
