Page 57 of Almost True
I had expected the smoke to ease as we left the fire behind, but it’s as thick as ever when we stumble across the bridge and onto the grassy bank where several fire teams’ supplies sit waiting in disorganized mounds.
We’re too tired to cook that night, so we break into our stash of MREs and save the box of fresh food for another time. It’s later than I realized—past nine o’clock—but I’m too wired from the intensity of the fire to think about sleeping yet.
Dex sets up our shared tent well away from the rest of camp this time, and I don’t care since it’s too murky for anyone to notice. I just hope he isn’t planning to cuddle me, because that’s all I fucking want and I shouldn’t be thinking that way.
Chapter 40
Dex
“Hey, Korren,” I venture as we dig our sleeping bags out of our packs. “What’s going on? Why were you suddenly looking for a different place to live? And why were you drinking yesterday?”
Korren stiffens but doesn’t turn to look at me.
“I know this whole thing is going a bit further than we’d planned,” I say. “And I—I like having you in my life. So if this fucking game is going to ruin our friendship, I don’t want to keep playing.”
Now Korren looks at me, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Are you saying I win?”
I wish I could say yes. I’d do anything to give him what he wants.
But he deserves the truth.
“I won’t rule that out,” I say heavily. “But if I don’t get that cabin, it probably means I’ll be leaving Copper Creek as soon as it’s too cold to sleep in the campervan.”
Korren’s eyes widen just a fraction.
He tosses his sleeping bag into the tent and stands, arms crossed over his chest. I straighten as well.
“The problem is,” he says, “you don’t know me at all. My whole life is a fucking mess. You wouldn’t want anything to do with me if you knew the truth. We need to stop pretending.”
I hate that he feels that way, because he’s shown so much of himself to me in the time we’ve had together. He’s completely closed-off around anyone else, but with me, he lets his guard down. And what I’ve seen of him is softer and more vulnerable than I would have expected from the way he comes across.
“I know something bad happened to you,” I say roughly. “But that isn’t who you are. You’ve been dealing with a lot. I can see that from the nightmares and the scars, and the way you were living before you came here. But I know that isn’t all of you.”
Korren has a cornered look, like he wants to turn and run, so I talk faster, desperate to say what I need to before he closes me out.
“I know you’re obsessed with that little furball. I know you like good coffee, and you have a sweet tooth, and you’re awful at fly fishing but would happily stand out in a river all day just enjoying the wilderness. I know you like hiking and are competent enough not to get eaten by a bear.”
This coaxes the smallest of smiles from Korren.
“And I know you really value your personal space and don’t like letting people into your life, which is a damn shame, because I think you secretly enjoy cuddles more than you’d ever admit.”
Korren’s arms are still crossed over his chest, but he’s loosened up a bit, so even though it’s dangerous, I say the words that have been playing over in my mind all day.
“Korren. I dare you to trust me enough to tell me what happened to you.”
His expression shuts down at once, and I know I’ve fucked up.
He turns and stalks off into the smoky twilight, his form growing hazy within a few steps.
I swear under my breath. I had no right to demand that of him. It’s my own secret that needs to be told, and I need Korren to know that the way I feel about him isn’t contingent on whatever happened in his past.
I know he wants space, but I can’t let him disappear off like this when it’s dangerous and he probably hates me for what I just said.
Before he disappears altogether, I jog after him, the smoke tearing at my lungs.
“Korren!” I call after him, quiet enough that the rest of the crew won’t hear.
He pauses, and I catch up to him, grabbing his shoulder before he tries to run off again.
