Page 67 of Clueless
“I can’t.”I leaned forward letting my hands rest between my knees, as I struggled to draw a deep breath.“That part is killing me.”
“Have you told Grace the reason you broke up with her?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“She already thinks I’m a coward.The truth would just reinforce that.Besides, she doesn’t want to hear from me.She’s already moved on.”
“She told you that?”
“No, I uh, saw a picture of her online, with some other guy.”
“Regardless of whether she’s moved on or not, do you think she might appreciate having answers?So, she could have closure?”
“Probably.”But did I have the guts to face her again, to tell her the truth?And would I make a fool of myself, and beg her to take me back, regardless of the consequences?
“With respect to your daughter, the same solution may be applicable.Tell her the truth: how you feel about Grace.How hard it’s been not having her in your life.”
“And if she doesn’t care?”
“Then you have some difficult decisions to make.And in our next session, we can talk about healthy boundaries, okay?”
I nodded, knowing I had a lot of work to do.But for the first time, I felt hopeful that I could finally begin to untangle the mess that was my mind.
I wanted to see Grace before I lost my nerve, and since it was the end of her workday, and I was already in the building, I decided to take a chance and swing by her office.My heart raced when I rounded the corner and saw her locking the door to her outer office.
“Grace.”
She looked up, her blue eyes wide, before she dropped the keys.“Damn it.”
I rushed forward, snagging the keys before she could.“Let me get those for you.”I handed them back to her, curling my hand around hers before she could withdraw.
She looked incredible, wearing a black wrap dress with large blue flowers decorating the hemline and sleeves.The neckline was cut into a modest V and it hugged her curves in all the right places.Her high heels made it possible for me to look into her eyes, and the pain I saw reflected there took my breath away.
I just wanted to hold her, explain, beg forgiveness.
“What are you doing here, Taz?”
“I actually had a session with your friend, Jasper.It helped.”
“I’m glad.”
She tried side-stepping me, but I blocked her path.I couldn’t let her go.
“I’m sorry, but I have to go.I’m meeting a friend for dinner.”
I wanted to ask if it was the same guy I’d seen her with in the picture, but I knew I didn’t have the right to question her.“Can you just give me ten minutes?Please?”
“I don’t see why?—”
“I owe you an explanation.You’re right, I was a coward the night we broke up.I didn’t have the guts to tell you the truth.But I want you to know, even if it’s just to give you closure.You deserve that.”
She sighed, before unlocking the door.“Fine, but just give me a minute to text my friend and let him know I’m running late.”
Him.That single word ricocheted through me like a bullet.“Sure.”
I walked around her office, taking in all the details that reflected her.It wasn’t cold and clinical like Jasper’s office.It was warm and inviting, with fresh flowers, bright cushions, and glossy magazines.An extension of her apartment, and her.
