Page 66 of Clueless
“Until Grace?”
“I never intended to fall for Grace.I thought it would be the same as it had been with all the others.And we both went into it with the same expectations, I think.But after one night together, we knew it was something more.Something worth pursuing.”
“And where did that pursuit lead you?”
“I fell in love with her.Even asked her to move in with me, in record time.”
“How did she respond to that?”
“She said it was too soon.”I rubbed my palm with my opposing thumb, glancing at my lifeline, wondering how long I would have to finally figure things out.
“How did that make you feel?”
“Frustrated.Angry, I guess.But I understood.She wasn’t wrong.Logically, it probably was too soon.But it felt right.”
“So, if you two had been living together when your daughter asked you to break up with Grace, would you have just asked her to move out?”
“I don’t know.I haven’t thought about that.”
It would have been gut-wrenching to watch her pack up her stuff and leave.It was bad enough now, given the time she spent in my house.I felt her in my bed, my shower, saw her cooking breakfast in the kitchen, felt her absence on the sofa when I was trying to watch TV at night.It’s like I was living with her ghost.
“Now that I have a bit of the backstory, why don’t you tell me why you’re here, Taz?”
“I guess I need clarity.I need to know if I did the right thing breaking up with Grace so I could be a father to Quinn.”
“Because you think the two are mutually exclusive?”
“I don’t, but Quinn does.”
“And she’s the one who gets to decide?”
“Whether she has a relationship with me?Yeah.”
He nodded.“Have you tried explaining to Quinn how you feel about Grace?”
“No, but I don’t think it would matter.She’s not the most sensitive kid, which I get, given what she’s been through.She’s had to develop a tough shell to protect herself.”
“And you think that’s your fault?”
“Of course, it is.Who else would be at fault?I’m the one who messed her up.”
“Because you couldn’t be in her life?”
For a couple hundred bucks an hour, was this dude even listening to me?“Right.”
“But her mother was in her life, and Quinn indicated she’d had numerous relationships she found troubling.Do you think that could have contributed to her being ‘messed up’, as you put it?”
“I guess.”
“Taz, as a family therapist, I find parents are quick to take the blame for all of their children’s problems, because they believe they’re inadequate, somehow, as parents.Do you think you may be doing that?”
I considered his question before I said, “Quinn has every right to blame me for…”
“Everything?”he challenged.“Does she have the right to blame you for everything that’s wrong in her life?And are you willing to shoulder that kind of responsibility?Because if you are, it could be all-consuming.”
“I don’t know what else to do,” I said, spreading my hands.“I’m trying to man up, to be a good dad, and be there for her when she needs me.I know she has years of pent-up anger at me, that she needs to get out.And I’ve got a thick skin.I can take it.”
“But Grace has become the collateral damage.And it seems you can’t live with that?”
