Page 78 of Speechless
“But now that I’m finally figuring things out, and I’m beginning to believe you guys might actually be in this music thing with me for the long haul—” He laughed when the crowd erupted, screaming their support for him and his music.
A woman shouted, “I love you, Mav!”
Instead of feeling a pang of jealousy, I felt only pride. He’d earned their love. Support and admiration. And he’d done it by being himself. Totally authentic, in the songs he wrote and sang and the stories he told. He never pretended to be perfect. He openly acknowledged all his mistakes and flaws. And I knew it helped him to heal. And others too. Those who were inspired by his music.
He smiled at me and winked before he shouted, “And I love you guys. I can’t thank you enough for all the love and support. So many of you have reached out to me and told me about your own battles with alcoholism and it’s helped me more than you can know, to see that I’m not alone in this.”
He paused long enough to kiss me and my heart swelled with love for this man. He’d come so far, and I couldn’t wait to see how much further he would go.
“So, in honor of this special occasion, I wanted to thank you, and most importantly, I wanted to thank Codie, with a new song I’ve written.” He turned to face me. “I couldn’t have done this without you, baby. You’ve been my rock.”
I let the tear slide down my cheek unchecked as I mouthed, “I love you.”
He did a half-turn, facing his band. “Okay, guys. You ready to do this?”
I shared smiles with all of his bandmates. They’d been like my brothers when we were growing up and I still loved them all. They’d stood beside Mav through everything: his crappy childhood, our break-up, his alcoholism, playing seedy honky tonks, and now they were rising to fame along with him, and I couldn’t be happier for all of them.
Mav held my hand and looked into my eyes as he sang lyrics about being broken and confused, losing the best thing that ever happened to him.
Telling his story, he was re-telling our story, and it was bittersweet. We’d come so far, but the pain we’d caused each other ran deep, and our scars would always be a reminder to us both that love was a double-edged sword.
He sang about tears, sleepless nights, and drowning in the bottle.
My breath hitched when his voice broke as his lyrics told the story of being beaten down and feeling worthless, until he found someone to save him.
He didn’t realize it, but he’d saved me too. I’d been living when we re-connected. I thought I was happy. I was successful, by most people’s standards. But I’d been so guarded, afraid to love, because the one man I’d given my heart to, broke it. Now he’d pieced it back together and I felt whole again.
I got lost in his lyrics, and felt, like most people in the crowd probably did, the anguish and healing in his journey.
The audience exploded when he finally dropped the mic to his side and pulled me in for a kiss. With his head touching mine, he whispered, “Don’t kill me for this. I love you, Codie.”
Before I could ask what he was talking about, he dropped to one knee, and once again, the audience blew up as I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to breathe through my tears. As a girl who’d never been much of a crier, Mav always found a way to touch my heart.
“Codie, I let you go all those years ago, because I believed I had nothing to give you. I was so sure I’d never make anything of myself, never be strong enough to wrestle my demons and give you the life you deserved.”
I could only hope that somewhere, his father was choking on those words, seeing what a huge success his eldest son had become.
“But I know now I was wrong. We had to take a detour that lasted too long, but during that time we found ourselves. And we’re back together better and stronger than ever.”
I nodded, still letting the tears flow as the crowd remained quiet long enough to let us have our moment.
“I wouldn’t ask you to be my wife unless I was sure I could be the husband you deserved. I know we’ve still got to take this one day at a time, babe. And that’s all I’m asking of you, one day at a time… for the rest of our days. Will you do it? Will you be my wife?”
I nodded vigorously, since I didn’t have a microphone and couldn’t be heard without it.
He laughed as he pulled a ring out of his pocket. Three diamonds, one larger one in the middle with two smaller ones on either side. I recognized the style immediately. It was a trinity ring. One of my clients received one for her silver wedding anniversary, and told me it represented past, present, and future. I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect, or symbolic ring for Mav to give me. As he slipped it on my finger and kissed me, I let the past wash away as I basked in the present and looked forward to the future. With the only man who’d ever owned my heart.
