Page 75 of Speechless
“I could do anything for you, for us.” When I started to protest, he covered my lips with his fingertip. “I’m doing it for me, Codie. Because I’m starting to believe all those things you said about me being worth it.”
“You are worth it!” I threw my arms around him, hugging him hard. “You are so worth it, Maverick Stone. Every tear I shed over you. Every time I cursed your name. Every dream I thought was shattered beyond repair. It was worth all of it to be back in your arms again.”
His look of surprise told me I had some work to do. He’d been so open about his feelings since the day we re-connected, and I’d been reserved. Afraid of getting hurt or losing myself again. But he’d been able to upend his entire life for me. He’d not only taken a vow of sobriety, but a freakin’ vow of celibacy! And I intended to reward him for his sacrifice… all night long.
“Tell me you don’t have to leave town tonight,” I whispered in his ear.
His hand strayed down my back, to the swell of my bottom. “No, I can stay until tomorrow.”
“Does that mean you’re going to invite me over to your house for a sleep-over?”
He diverted his gaze and I felt my stomach sink. “What’s wrong? You don’t want to be with me?”
“Jesus, Codie. How can you even ask me that? I want you more than anything—”
Mav’s hesitancy felt like a slap in the face, but I didn’t want him to see how much it hurt. “What’s the problem then?”
“You’ve been telling me that I should wait a year to start a relationship, and I’ve been trying to honor that, and you, by keeping my distance.”
“It killed me not to hear from you,” I admitted, knowing it was past time for full disclosure. We couldn’t go on like this. I respected the rules as much as the next girl, but I wanted my man back. Now!
“Baby,” he said, framing my face with one hand. “I was dying to call you, but I was trying to give you some time and space to figure things out. And prove to you that I was serious about my sobriety this time.”
I nodded, flattening my palm over his racing heart. I could tell he was as nervous as I was. Neither one of us were good at expressing our feelings, but we had to get good at it to make this relationship work, and I was determined. I wouldn’t let us quit on each other again.
He tipped my chin so I was looking him in the eye. “So, did it help? Were you able to work through those issues? Make peace with having a famous boyfriend and clients getting all up in your business?”
“Yeah. You weren’t the only one in therapy the past six months.” He raised an eyebrow, and I said, “What? Don’t look so surprised. I practice what I preach. I suggested you get help, and I recognized that I needed help too. I thought I’d worked through all my crap years ago.”
“But?”
My smile was teasing when I said, “I never expected this larger-than-life country music superstar to sweep into my life and overshadow me and everything I’ve accomplished.”
“Codie, don’t even joke. I’m just a guy with a guitar and a decent singing voice, who can put pen to paper. But you’re the one who inspires all those songs, baby. Don’t ever forget that.”
I looped my arms around his neck, pressing deep into his arousal. “Then I guess we make a pretty good team, don’t we?”
He licked his lips as his gaze dropped to my mouth. “Damn right we do. I can’t do what I do without you. From the songwriting to the sobriety, you’re the reason for all of it, sweetheart.”
I thought about giving him the speech about doing it for himself again, but I didn’t need to anymore. I realized I’d always approached recovery from a singular perspective because I’d never been in a relationship, so of course my partner couldn’t have inspired my recovery. Had Mav been in my life before, I would have wanted to stay sober for him. Just like he wanted to stay sober for me. And I was sure Trey wanted to stay sober for Sierra.
I was finally starting to get it now. The interconnectedness of the journey that had alluded me before.
“What?” he asked, smiling. “No warning? No lecture?”
I shook my head, thinking it through before I spoke the words. “No, because I want to stay sober for you too. And the babies we’re going to have someday. And I want you to stay sober for us too.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “I will, I promise you…” He caught himself short of making a promise years into the future. Turning his arm over to reveal his tattoo, he said, “Every time I feel weak, I just look at this. It reminds me what I need to do and why. And when we have those babies you’re promising me, I’ll need you to give me another tattoo with their names, as a reminder.”
I kissed him, drawing it out with a soft moan. “My pleasure.”
* * *
Maverick
It was hard to draw Codie away from all the people who’d come to celebrate her special day, but I was dying to get her alone, so we could make up for lost time.
I kicked my front door shut before spinning her around and pressing her back into the raised wood panel.
