Page 16 of Speechless
“A little less every day.”
ChapterSix
Codie
Amanda was working the front desk mid-week when my sister came into my shop to get inked. She was graduating soon and wanted a special tattoo to commemorate her hard work.
I loved that tattoos had become mainstream and as an artist I got the privilege of creating art that someone would carry with them and appreciate every day of their lives.
“What are you two talking about?” I asked, hip-checking my sister at the front desk, as she chatted with Amanda.
Grace narrowed her eyes, pointing at me. “How could you keep something like this from me! You and Mav?”
I gave my best friend the stink-eye before telling my sister, “There is nothing between me and Mav. We ran into each other at an A.A. meeting here in town and he invited me to a show. I agreed because I knew how much Amanda wanted to see Trey live. End of story.”
“I don’t believe you.” She propped her hand on her hip, facing me. “Your ex-boyfriend, the guy who literally drove you to drink—”
“It’s not Mav’s fault I became an alcoholic, sis. That’s all on me.”
“That man was an insensitive, self-centered asshole back then. What makes you think he’s changed now?”
The shop was filled with clients and my artists. The last thing I wanted was to get into an argument with my kid sister about my semi-famous ex with a roomful of people hanging on our every word.
“Mav was a kid then, Gracie. And he was going through a lot of shit at home. He was never insensitive, at least not with me. Was he self-centered? Sure, we all were. We were kids.” I didn’t know why I was defending him or why it should even matter what my sister thought of him. She was barely ten years old when we broke up. There was no way she could have understood the way I felt about him, or the depth of our crazy connection.
“I know you—”
“Can we get to work?” I curled my arm around her shoulders, leading her back to my work station before she could respond. “I’ve got back-to-back clients all day, and I squeezed you in as a favor.”
We both knew I would have lost sleep or worked on my day off to do something special for her. This girl and my mama were my whole world. They were the reasons I got sober. Worked so hard. And stayed single. I didn’t want a man to come along and try to convince me I was crazy for supporting them financially.
Looking after my family was who I was and what I did. I knew it wouldn’t always be that way. My little sister was getting ready to launch her own successful career and then we could share the responsibility for looking after mama in her golden years. But for now, it was all on me, and I was good with that. God gave me a gift that paid well and I was happy to use that gift to take care of the people who meant the most to me. Just like mama did, working three jobs to support us when we were growing up.
“This is what I had in mind,” I said, showing Gracie the sketch I’d made when I couldn’t sleep last night. Though I’d never admit it to another living soul, that conversation with Mav got to me. Made me wonder if we didn’t have some unfinished business to tend to.
She studied the sketch closely, taking in all the details that represented her journey. Books to signify the hours of study, birds and flowers to help her remember getting out in nature had helped her stay sane all those years, keys to symbolize the future, a cross, which she always wore around her neck during exams to bring her luck, and her graduation date.
“Sis, this is amazing,” she said, holding it up to the light. “You captured everything, without me even telling you. How do you do that?”
I shrugged. “Who knows you better than I do, Little?” Little was a pet name I’d given her when we were kids and it stuck.
“No one.” Our eyes met in the mirror above my work station and hers filled with tears. “I can’t let him hurt you again, you know.”
I was the first to break eye contact, clearing my throat as I snatched the drawing away from her and stuck it to the mirror for reference as I worked. “You have nothing to worry about. I know how to take care of myself. Now sit your ass down so I can get to work, girl.”
She let her purse fall to the floor before easing herself into the reclining leather chair. “If I was seeing someone who was bad for me, wouldn’t you try to talk me out of it?”
I prepped my workstation and laid out the colors I intended to work with, wishing she would let this go, but knowing she wouldn’t. I expected her tattoo to take a couple of hours and I didn’t want to hear about Mav the whole time. It was bad enough I couldn’t get the man off my mind.
“Live and let live, kid. You know that’s been my motto for years.” A.A. helped me adopt that mindset and regular meetings ensured I continued to practice what I preached.
I rubbed alcohol on her outer thigh, prepping my work surface. My sister had one small tattoo on her ankle that I’d given her when she graduated from high school. She’d had a reasonable pain tolerance then, but that took half an hour, compared to the two hours of pin pricking she would have to endure this time.
“You sure you’re ready for this?” I swapped out my needle and filled the gun with black ink, preparing to do the outline. But first I had to do a freehand drawing on her skin and seal it with spray before getting to work.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” She tipped her head back and closed her eyes.
“Relax, don’t tense up.” I had some clients who’d passed out from the pain, but I could usually tell from their demeanor before we got started if I was going to have a problem. “You got this, girl.”
