Page 9 of Speechless
“Thanks.” I was still grinning when I set her down. “It felt unbelievable, Marisa. Like I finally tapped into something Trey and Luc always said they saw in me but I couldn’t see in myself.”
She framed my face with her hands, beaming from ear-to-ear. “Everyone has seen it, Mav. Why do you think you had three of the most downloaded songs of the year and won three of the five big awards you were nominated for?” She playfully smacked me upside the head. “Get it through that thick head of yours already! People love you.”
I let that sink in. Not too many people had loved me throughout my life. My band was always there for me. My brother and I were still tight. I knew he loved me. Codie had loved me. Sadly, it was a pretty short list. But I knew that was all on me. I never let anyone else, especially women, get close enough to love me. I knew first-hand how it felt to love an alcoholic, to wish they would get their shit together and suddenly become the person you wanted them to be. I could never do that to someone else. It was the reason I ultimately had to let the love of my life go. Because I knew she would be better off without me.
Luc tapped on the door before walking in. “Hey, Mav.” He shook my hand, smiling. “Now that’s the way it’s done, my friend.”
“I hope you don’t mind,” Marisa said, rolling on her toes to kiss her husband. “I asked Luc to meet me back here. I didn’t want to be the only one telling you that you killed it tonight.” She hooked a thumb at Luc. “I thought if you heard it from this guy, you might actually believe it.”
I was starting to believe it, even without Luc and Marisa’s confirmation. I felt it. Kind of like when I wrote a song that I felt would resonate with people. There was something different, something special about it.
“I appreciate you guys, seriously.” I knew how hard it was to get support from the people who called the shots in this business, I’d been trying for years. But Trey and his wife, Sierra, Luc and Marisa, took me in like family, and made me believe in myself, even though they knew I was battling my demons. I’d never forget that.
“You did what you promised you’d do when I signed you.” Luc said, looking me in the eye. “You worked your ass off and made me proud.”
The lump rose in my throat as I swallowed it back down. I’d never once heard my old man tell me he was proud of me, but to hear those words from Luc meant everything. He was a star maker, who could make or break careers, and he chose to take a chance on me, even though word on the street was I could be my own worst enemy.
“Thank you.” I knew I had to say more, but it was tough to find the words to thank a guy who’d given you a second chance at life. I owed Luc and Trey everything. “If you hadn’t taken a chance on me, and convinced Trey to do the same, I wouldn’t be where I am right now.”
Money was rolling in from songs I’d written, my royalty deal and advances, and I no longer had to worry about how I was going to pay my rent. I didn’t even have a car payment for the new pick-up truck parked at home, which was crazy to me.
“So, what made tonight so different?” Marisa asked. “What changed?”
I knew Trey wouldn’t have told his sister or brother-in-law that we’d been going to meetings together. He said what happened inside those meeting rooms were in the vault, and I believed him.
“Trey talked me into going to a meeting with him. A few actually.” They shared a look before I said, “I know the first show we did in Nashville was shit. I was loaded. Trey called me out, told me I wasn’t going to take him down with me, so I either got sober or he was going to fire my ass.”
I knew I couldn’t be too proud to tell the truth to the people who cared about me. Pride and ego had gotten me into this mess in the first place. Always trying to be the tough guy who could handle anything and didn’t need anyone. What a crock.
Marisa reached for my hand, squeezing it. “My big brother knows what he’s talking about, Mav. He’s walked in your shoes.” Her eyes filled with tears when she said, “I didn’t think we’d ever get Trey back when he hit the bottle. He was self-destructing, slowly killing himself.”
Luc pulled her close, kissing her temple. “Those were some rough days, for sure.”
“I saw so much of my brother in you when we first met,” Marisa said to me. “I think that’s why we connected right away. You needed someone to help you, the same way Trey had. And I wanted us to be the kind of support system for you that we’d been for him.”
I kissed her hand. “Thank you for that. You guys are the best.”
“I’m just glad you’re doing better,” Marisa said, half-laughing as she swiped at a tear sliding down her cheek.
“So, that was all it took for you to perform like that?” Luc asked. “Being sober?”
“That, and a certain someone who was sitting in the crowd.”
Marisa’s eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands. “Oh, you mean a woman?” When I nodded, she said, “Well? Tell us about her!”
“We dated back in high school. Broke up when she went away to college.”
“How did you guys reconnect?” Marisa asked. “Did she reach out to you when you got all famous?”
“Hardly.” I glanced at my phone, which started blowing up on the table behind Marisa. “We were both at the same A.A. meeting in Nashville, actually.” I didn’t even know if I was allowed to tell people I’d seen her there. Confidentiality and all that, but I was new to this and clearly still had a lot to learn.
“She’s an alcoholic too?” Luc asked.
“She’s been sober about thirteen years, I guess.” I knew I didn’t have the right to be, but I was proud of Codie for beating her monsters into submission.
“Good for her,” Luc said. “That takes a hell of a lot of courage and strength.”
“Yeah, she’s unbelievable.” I’d been crazy about Codie, the girl, but I was in awe of the woman she’d become.
