Page 48 of Bad Habits
With the exception of exercise and cigarettes, she could have been describing me. I’d obviously have to start taking better care of myself because I’d never want to see my girl this wrecked over me.
“Babe, let me go over to your bus and grab you some clothes. On my way I’ll make a call, get my people to book you a flight out a.s.a.p.” I still wanted to go with her, but if she was adamant, I wasn’t going to argue. I’d just check in on her as often as I could and be ready to fly out at a moment’s notice, if need be.
“Thanks,” she said, wiping the tears off her face. “You’re the best.” She grabbed the sleeve of my hoodie when I stood up. “Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’ll never have to find out,” I said, kissing her hand. “I’ll always be here for you, baby. Always.”
* * *
Cece
Leaving Knox had been hell, but as my Uber pulled up in front of the hospital emergency doors, the only thing on my mind was getting to my father. Before it was too late. It didn’t look good, that’s what my sister told me on the phone. I hadn’t told Knox that because I knew if I did that would put the kibosh on his tour and I couldn’t do that. As much as I wanted him with me, holding my hand, the show had to go on.
I rushed through the sliding doors and approached the reception desk, giving the woman my father’s name. After confirming I was his daughter, she gave me directions to the intensive care unit and the elevator around the corner.
There were sick and injured people milling around the waiting room, as all the chairs were filled, but I navigated my way through, trying to tamp down my fear and frustration. On the elevator I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down. Being a basket case wouldn’t help my parents or sister. I needed to be strong. For them.
I stepped off the elevator and saw my sister sitting in a plastic chair lining a wall in front of a nurse’s station. “Charli.”
She jumped up as soon as she saw me, rushing toward me for a hug. She looked ravaged, her jade green eyes red-rimmed and swollen, her porcelain skin blotchy from the tears, and her long strawberry blonde hair in a messy bun.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I whispered in her ear. “Daddy’s tough, you know that. He’ll fight to stay with us, sis.” That was one thing I knew for sure. He’d never leave his family without one hell of a fight.
“I know.” She sniffled as she stepped back, wiping her nose with a balled up tissue fisted in her hand. “I just…” She shook her head. “I never expected this. God, he’s always been so strong. I thought he was invincible.”
“I know, honey.” I led her back to her chair and claimed the one next to her. “Is Mama in there with him now?”
She nodded. “Yeah, she’s been out a couple of times, but there’s not much to report.”
“What do the doctors say?” I asked, rubbing her back. “Have you talked to anyone?”
“There’s not much they can say just yet. They’re still running tests.”
“Okay.” I drew a deep breath. “So, we wait.” I wanted to see him, but knew they had rules about how many visitors were allowed in intensive care, and he needed Mama now.
Charli leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she covered her face with her hands. “This is a nightmare.”
“I know.” I was trying to be strong, but seeing my sister so shaken up was scaring me. She’d been here longer, had talked to Mama, and likely knew more about Daddy’s condition than she was letting on. That’s what we did, tried to protect each other, whenever possible.
“Did you drive here?” It was less than two hours from her home in Charlotte to Mama and Daddy’s in Columbia, but I didn’t like the idea of her driving through the night, especially in her state.
“Yeah.” She cleared her throat, sitting upright. “Gave me a lot of time to think.”
“About?”
“Moving back home.”
“Really?” Charli loved her freedom and independence, and moving back home, with Mama weighing in on all her decisions, would mean sacrificing both. “Why?”
“They’re not getting any younger, Cece. You’re on the road all the time. That kind of leaves me, doesn’t it?”
The guilt stabbed me, bringing with it a fresh wave of pain. It wasn’t fair for Charli to sacrifice her life so I could live my dream. They wereourparents and I was equally responsible for them. I never imagined having to make these decisions so soon though. I thought we’d have another twenty years before we had to have these conversations. But Daddy’s heart attack brought the reality to the forefront. They weren’t getting any younger and they were going to need their daughters to step up and help them. No matter the sacrifice.
“Let’s just take this one step at a time,” I said, grasping her hand in mine. “The main priority is getting Daddy well. The rest… we’ll figure it out together.”
Charli nodded, but her expression was resigned, like she’d already made peace with sacrificing her life for the sake of mine. I couldn’t let her do that. I’d been living my dream for years. She hadn’t even had time to explore hers. She loved music as much as I did, but she’d had to be practical and find a way to support herself. If she’d taken the risks I had straight out of high school, maybe she’d be sharing a stage with someone like Knox now. But she was still young. It wasn’t too late for her to take that leap of faith. Providing she wasn’t at home playing nursemaid to our aging parents.
“I could never live with myself if we stuck him in some convalescent home, Cece. Not after everything he’s done for us.” More tears slid down her cheeks. “He’s been our rock—”
